wanted...
A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same: "You can have mine." Sign in to see full entry.
Sunday, March 15, 2015
watering
"Did you water the plants, Sofia, asked the mistress of the house?" “Of course, ma’am,” Sofia said. “Don’t you hear the water dripping on the carpet?” Sign in to see full entry.
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
dr dr
Patient: Doctor, doctor I have only 58 seconds to live!!!!!! Doctor: I’ll be with you in a minute Sign in to see full entry.
dr dr
A man consults a therapist and states, “Doc, I’m suicidal. What should I do?” The doctor replies, “Pay in advance.” Sign in to see full entry.
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
two friends
Two friends are talking and one says to the other; “I am so tired of people not understanding what I'm talking about. His friend asks; “What do you mean?” Sign in to see full entry.
one upmanship
Two rather old retired racehorses are in a bar getting totally drunk. After about two hours the first racehorse says "You know.... when I was a young racehorse...from one hundred starts, I won (hic) 90 races, got 5 seconds and 5 thirds.... I am without doubt the greatest racehorse that ever... Sign in to see full entry.
Monday, March 9, 2015
irish
An Irishman proposed to his girl friend on Saint Patrick’s Day and gave her a ring with a synthetic diamond. On learning it wasn't real she protested vehemently about his cheapness. He explained that in honor of Saint Patrick’s Day, he picked her a sham rock. Sign in to see full entry.
irish
An Irishman proposed to his girl friend on Saint Patrick’s Day and gave her a ring with a synthetic diamond. On learning it wasn't real she protested vehemently about his cheapness. He explained that in honor of Saint Patrick’s Day, he picked her a sham rock. Sign in to see full entry.
soda
A Spanish man wants to buy a soda from the soda machine. He puts in some change. The machine says "DIME". The man tells the machine "Yo quiero Pepsi!" For those who don't know Spanish dime means tell me Sign in to see full entry.
Sunday, March 8, 2015
cannibal
A cannibal visited the witch doctor with a serious skin rash. The doctor gave him a small pot of grease to rub on. He returned next week completely cured. " Wonderful stuff what is it" he said "My best friend died. I boiled him in a pot for six days then skimmed the grease off" he replied. " What do... Sign in to see full entry.