Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Saturday, March 21, 2015

silly girl

A perplexed Antartian female runs into a local police station. "Somebody has stolen my car!!" she proclaims loudly. The officer at the desk replies, "Settle down ma’am. Everything is going to be o.k. Now, did you get a description of the suspect?" "No", the young Antartian replies. "But I did get... Sign in to see full entry.

bday wish

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd love to be eight again." she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her off to the local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide,... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, March 20, 2015

grey hair

Two women are talking about marriage. One woman says: “ I wonder if my husband will love me when my hair is gray.” “Why not? He’s loved you through three shades already.” Replied her friend. Sign in to see full entry.

court

These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Q: What is your date of birth? A: July 15th. Q:... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, March 19, 2015

in flight attendant

An airline captain was helping a new Antartian flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop, and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's... Sign in to see full entry.

exams

The Antartian reported for her university final examination which consisted of "yes/no" type questions. She took her seat in the examination hall and stared at the question paper for five minutes. In a fit of inspiration, she took her purse out, removed a coin and started tossing the coin and... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

golfer

Did you hear about the golfer trying to buy a new golf club? He looked at club after club after club. His friend asked him "Why are you taking so long?" He replied "I am looking for a hole in one!" Sign in to see full entry.

lil johnny on the loose again

Timothy:Why are you catching so many fleas? Lil Johnny:Didn't you see the Notice Board? There's going to be a Flea Market at our Apartment Lobby tomorrow morning. Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

fastest way

Billy stops Paddy in Dublin and asks for the quickest way to Cork. Paddy says, "Are you on foot or in the car?" Billy says, "In the car." Paddy says, "That's the quickest way." Sign in to see full entry.

st paddy's day

Why do bagpipers always walk when they play? To get away from the noise Sign in to see full entry.