Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

maxine!

People who live in glass houses should make love in the basement. Never read the fine print. There ain't no way you're going to like it. If you let a smile be your umbrella, then most likely your butt will get soaking wet. The only two things we do with greater frequency in middle age are urinate... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, October 30, 2016

headlines

T he following headlines were actually printed in newspapers. The irony in some of these are absolutely astonishing, hilariously funny (though sometimes awkward). Check them out: - Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One - Miners Refuse to Work after Death - Include Your Children when Baking... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, October 28, 2016

life's lessons

1.) Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2.) If you have to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings". 3.) There is a very fine line between "hobby"... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, October 27, 2016

is fiction this good?

--Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that the had died of a "massive internal fart." --Dr. Susan... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

facts of life

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. 2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair. 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, October 23, 2016

trying on dresses

T hat's a bit expensive just for a dare isn't it? I saw a dress just like that one in Woolworths yesterday. Hey, get out of here you filthy pervert! Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were a man... I had a dress like that. My boyfriend made me throw it away because he said it made me look like Edna... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, October 22, 2016

robbing a bank

According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are "unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes," committed by young male repeat offenders who apparently don't know the first thing about their business. This information was included in an interesting, amusing article titles "How Not to Rob a... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, October 20, 2016

art buyer

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in her paintings that were on display. "Well, I have good news and bad news," the owner responded. "The good news is that a gentleman noticed your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. I told him it would... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

duh! did they really say that?

"I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them." - George Bush, former U.S. President "It is white." - George W. Bush, when asked what the White house was like by a student in East London "If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

diner

A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings his meal to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there's a small hair in the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, "Waitress, there's a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what is... Sign in to see full entry.