Bob's Grabbag

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Sunday, August 29, 2010

For THIS I Learned to Read??

Checkout counter paper headlines Never really seem to change - The freaky paranormal stuff So amiably deranged: NOSTRODAMUS TAKES THE FIFTH! CLINTON MEETS WITH ALIENS! (The photo's there to prove it!) OBAMA'S PROFILE'S ON THE MOON! REPUBLICANS REMOVE IT! But other tabloid headlines there Concern... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

She Really Was a Peach (No, That's P-E-A-C-H)

"There's a time and place for everything!" My mother used to say. I never told you this one, mom. The story goes this way - We're acting, see? The script says "KISS" - We've done it several nights - My first time on a paying stage - We have to do it right! (A stage kiss isn't what you think - A lot... Sign in to see full entry.

She Really

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She

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Friday, August 27, 2010

Ever Read The Stuff That Comes Up On Your Screen?

We're peaceful people, No one's nasty - How come we need REPORT ABUSE? I LIST no ITEM that's FOR SALE. And can I CONDUCT POLICY? Really? Sign me up! But smarmy dancing paper clips That send me through the roof? Don't get me started! What the hell - I guess I'll TRY GOZOOF! Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Three "Car Talk" Haiku from Click and Clack, the Tappit Brothers

IT'S SQUEALING, GRINDING - DRIPPING, STEAMING, OVERHEATS - THAT'S JUST THE TAPE DECK DID NOT LOCK OLD CAR GAPING HOLE AND HANGING WIRES NO MORE NPR PONTIAC LEMANS WILL PASS EVERYTHING ON ROAD EXCEPT GAS STATION Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

McDonalds Drive-thru Microphone is Getting Worse, And So Am I

BARKUM TO MCDONALDS! MAY I FLAKE YOUR DAUGHTER? - A number three, please. GARGLE EVERY WOBBLE DRINK? - Diet Coke. SOMBER AWFUL SUPERSIZE? - No, just the regular....CONFUSE ME? - I said, "Crumble over maximun." SO... IT'S STUMBLE OVER EVERYTHING...? -... All right.. AND DRIBBLE OVER MAXIMUM? - Close... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

As Cyrano Might Have Said, "Ah, But What a Gesture!"

NOTE: Waitstaff at the Breadloaf Inn received no tips until the last breakfast, when diner-students and faculty had the chance to put something in a "thank-you box" placed at the door. Big deal. Despite reminders weeks before, that year very few had really planned for this final outlay, so no one -... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, August 23, 2010

A Most Intriguing Quote!

I've heard that Anton Chekhov hated Dropping off a play.* "You actors go and spoil it all And never listen anyway!" But plays are magic garments always Finding their own shapes Within the minds of other minds, Of others' magic capes. Weeks passed and Anton would return And, sitting, doffed his coat.... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

"An Offer That He Can't Refuse"

Harvey stood before the door, His knuckles just about to rap And paused, Replayed within his mind once more The morning phone call he'd received: "Mr. Morgan? How ya doin'...... No, my name is not important. This friend of mine, his wife Elaine tells me Your wife helped her write a... whatsit,... Sign in to see full entry.

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