skye01 A Caregivers Thoughts

By skye08 - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Relationships

Friday, October 16, 2009

Unbelievable Proselytizing

I cannot believe the audacity of some people. Buffalo Ridge Baptist Church had the balls to send me a form letter based on Richard's obituary proselytizing their church with a pamphlet asking "How to Kow You Are Going to Heaven? and a schedule of their church services. Had they read the obituary they would know we have a home church!!! How dare they use Richard's death and my grief to scare me into "religion"? This kind of religion and these kind of people are the very reason many people don't... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by skye08 at 1:10 PM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Exert From The Journey Home

Exert from "The Journey Home." The above path taken by those who are dying is also taken by their family and friends who loved them. As you watch your loved one die, a part of you dies also. You will experience the same stages of grief because they are sick and they are not getting well. The anger will cause guilt because you are angry at them for getting sick and the guilt will cause depression and the depression will cause anger because they are making you depressed because they are sick. You... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by skye08 at 6:20 PM | add or view comments (0) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Sunday, October 11, 2009

A Rough Weekend

It has been a rough weekend. My adrenal rush is over and on Wednesday I crashed physically with a Fibro flare with hypoglycemia, migraine, trigger points, insomnia, and increased pain. I just went to bed and started sitting in my sauna daily and meditation and the jacuzzi. I managed to go out to eat with Brooke and Scott for lunch on Friday. It was the first time in over six months I had been out to eat. It still feels strange to go out of the house whenever I want or need to. I keep thinking I... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by skye08 at 4:39 AM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, October 5, 2009

It's Just a Bag

Yesterday, Brooke and Scott went with me to gather flowers from Richard's grave so I can dry them and put them in the little silver urn the cemetery provided as a keepsake. Richard's other nephew had not been able to come since he is in the service and he had sent a beautiful rose, carnation and daisy arrangement. I took all the flowers off this arrangement so I can also make and give dried flowers in a keepsake urn for Richard's family. At present I made an arrangement in a vase until they... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by skye08 at 9:33 PM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Friday, October 2, 2009

A Wonderful Celebration of Life

Today we Celebrated Richard's life. It was a wonderful service and he would (did) love it. I'm sure he was present. We all had wonderful stories to tell. I rode with my son Blake and after the service, we were on the way to the cemetary and Blake said to me that he had really missed out on really knowing Richard and knowing how much Richard loved him. Blake was a very independent 13 year old when we got married and didn't take kindly to a new rooster in the hen house. He had been my protector... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by skye08 at 8:30 PM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Sunday, September 27, 2009

My Caregiver Days are Almost Done

see living with Alzhiemer's Sign in to see full entry.

posted by skye08 at 1:57 PM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Friday, September 25, 2009

New Challenges to Face

Today we prepared for Richard's birthday on Sunday. I ordered your cake with the red roses he wanted. By all the standards we can go at this time, I have to say we had a good day. The nurse came for a visit and your oxgen level was down to 84%. He still has no air exchange in his lower lobes. The hospice nurse and the VA nurse prepared for the should he become non-responsive. Drops and gels to ease your pain and make his breathing easier. A pain pump is on stand-by if you cannot swallow.... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by skye08 at 9:37 PM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Accepting Death While Facing My Fear

My greatest fear during this journey Richard and I have traveled is that he would forget who I am and become angry, noncooperative or combative. As we travel closer to the end, he is forgetting me more and more. The other day he was so angry that I "a stranger" tried to kiss him and give him his medications. He knew who our caregiver was but wouldn't take medicine from her either because it wasn't legitimate. He has also said and done things to push me away when he knew who I was. Last week when... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by skye08 at 4:24 AM | add or view comments (5) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Losing Strength to Carry On

I'm trying to hard to care for Richard and keep him at home. Today was so tiring doing laundry and bathing Richard by myself and having to dig out and impaction since he hadn't had a BM since Thursday. He is not able to help with turning or holding himself in position so I have to turn and hold and change him and the pads underneath him for turning and protecting the bed. He has lost even the strength to feed himself unless it is finger food and then his shoulder hurts so bad, I have to finish... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by skye08 at 9:09 PM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Helpless Suffering

Helplessness is the worst of the suffering when watching your husband die. Guilt quickly follows as you pray for relief of his suffering and you reassure him that all has been taken care of and that he can go to the Light when he sees it knowing he has taken care of all his worldly tasks. Even though you are giving him permission to cross over with peace of mind, body and spirit that he has completed his life's work, the relief of his suffering being relieved is overtaken by the guilt that you... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by skye08 at 7:00 AM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, August 24, 2009

No Words

There are no words to express my feelings these days. I exist from day to day and night to night. My days I fill with sewing, painting, or sleeping. All activities are simple and can be done without a lot of organized thoughts. Reading is difficult to impossible. I can accomplish certain tasks but can't make a salad because it is too complicated. I'm tired. Sign in to see full entry.

posted by skye08 at 4:32 AM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

My Biggest Fear

My biggest fear in our journey down this path of Alzhiemer's and Parkinsons is that Richard will forget who I am. This fear came true tonight. He woke up with a dry hacky cough and was not passing any air throughout his lungs. I did chest physiotherapy, his medications and a nebulizer treatment and gave him so hot mint green tea. He was disoriented to place and who I was. Although he did ask me to keep working the late shift.LOL. My heart did break though. It took him awhile to remember my name... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by skye08 at 2:09 AM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Pushing the Envelope

It all started with Richard wandering at night and me watching him and playing on the computer with the Bher colorsmart program. I then mixed the paint color I wanted from left over colors I had and painted the hallway. I then moved into the kitchen and living room. If if hasn't moved I've painted it. I'm also teaching myself to paint with acrylic paints and painting landscapes and abstracts. I'm not doing too badly consistering I've never had an art class. I'm... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by skye08 at 9:09 PM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Pushing the Envelope

It all started with Richard wandering at night and me watching him and playing on the computer with the Bher colorsmart program. I then mixed the paint color I wanted from left over colors I had and painted the hallway. I then moved into the kitchen and living room. If if hasn't moved I've painted it. I'm also teaching myself to paint with acrylic paints and painting landscapes and abstracts. I'm not doing too badly consistering I've never had an art class. I'm... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by skye08 at 9:09 PM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

The Way of the Cat

Why do cats sit at the door meowing and when you open in the door, they sit and look in? Why do cats have to check out every piece of moved furniture? Most of all, why do cats have to sit and walk across wet paint, and stick their noses into the paint? I have been painting my kitchen and now all my cats have the prettiest green, caramel and gold colored bottoms and tails and feet. I can't wait til I get to the living room. I think they will have to stay out side for a day or two or like the... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by skye08 at 3:32 AM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

About this Blog

skye01 Having Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Caring for my husband who had Parkinsons and Alzhiemer's and the changes we face each day. Meditations for stress relief and care for the soul. My journey through the grief and reaching acceptance. My life as I have grown in Love and Joy and Happiness with my family and friends.

Recent Entries
People
Blogs
Links

Headlines (What is this?)