Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Wait A Minute - Just One More Thing...
Anne Coulter - what can I say. I saw the little sniglet from The View and she was in rare form as expected. But isn't she always. Does she even sleep? Does that mind of hers ever stop thinking long enough to catch a couples of zzzzzsss. She is irritating / entertaining / rude / intelligent / pretty...
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Sunday, January 4, 2009
How Do People Practice To Do Splits On Ice Skates?
I can't even do a split on the floor let alone 5 feet in the air going about 60 miles an hour on two blades. Come to think of it - I can't even ice skate. How do people practice for this? What do you do - just let go and try to split on flat ice / wear a helmet and try to jump a little bit / who...
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Friday, January 2, 2009
"Mom - The Doctor Farted During The Examination!"
"What did you do?" "Nothing" "What did he do?" "Nothing". The Little Diva was getting her yearly eye exam today and I left her there with Mr. Man and scooted to the grocery store in the strip mall for a quick load of weekend food. Since I can't drive I must take these opportunities seriously because...
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Tuesday, December 30, 2008
When Your Kid Has The Stomach Flu
Icky Icky Poo-Dee-Doo. Just plain yuck. Poor Little Diva has had the stomach flu for 3 days and it ain't pretty. The only opening in her body that wasn't projecting fluids was her ears and I was getting worried. Now every parent knows that "you have to be there" but it is really gross to deal with...
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Saturday, December 27, 2008
Pigging Backing On Stop Signs and Other Traffic Tricks
Did you ever notice when you are at a multiple stop sign that someone always tries to "piggy back" the other driver and run straight through? I hate that. Plus when you wave someone on they don't wave or beep back? Now sometimes I can't see them - bad eyes - or it is at night and I have no idea what...
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Monday, December 22, 2008
I Finally Got My Mystery Diagnosis
After all of the doctors, dohickeys and thingeyjingeys attached to my head, all of the magnetic units I have been pushed in and out of, after wearing all of those horrid gowns and non-slip slippers - I have to put more salt on my food. Yes I am depressed (which I already knew) so they gave me...
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Sunday, December 21, 2008
"Ain't That The 1938 Christmas Carol?"
I thought "ain't" was a Pittsburgh term being that I am from the burgh and when I have traveled, people have no idea what I am saying. But I watched the classic 1938 movie last night and heard one of the townschildren throwing snowballs say "ain't". I even watched it again to confirm my hearing...
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Friday, December 19, 2008
I Miss Being Little And Christmas With My Parents
Christmas Eve was the big night - we weren't allowed to put up the tree before that. It was "tradition" in our family to decorate the tree together that night. And my father (even though he was an Athiest Nazi German) celebrated St. Nicholas Eve where we set out our shoes early in December to let us...
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Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Watching The Other Parents Age As Your Children Go Through School
Tonite was the Christmas Concert where The Little Diva performed. Last night we rehearsed her duet Silver Bells - and I am kind of glad that she was booted because she can't carry a note to save her life. I know that sounds horrible - but I was so concerned that people would laugh at her and in my...
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Tuesday, December 16, 2008
The Dreaded Christmas Chorus Concert Outfit For Your Kid
Naturally - she tells me the night before (last night) that she hates her outfit / she is doing a duet and everyone will laugh at her / and I hate that we are poor. In my own defense, I gave her money for a blouse which she blew on cheap earrings / never tried on my 15 pairs of black dress pants /...
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