The Flatliner Diaries

Saturday, October 28, 2006

The Best Point-Counterpoint Since Akroyd And Curtain

Last night Bill O'Reilly appeared on Late Night with David Letterman to pick up where they left off in January, a barbed duel of words. There were several good lines, but my favorite was this exchange: O'Reilly: "You're putting words in my mouth." Letterman: ""You're putting artificial facts in your... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

There's A Medical Answer For Why Politicians Are The Way They Are

Found on the internet: Five Surgeons are discussing the types of people they like to operate on. The first surgeon says: "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." The second responds: "Yeah, but you should try electricians!... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Hey, I Want Bill Murray As My Dishwasher!!

In a case of life imitating art, Bill Murray, like his sad character in Lost In Translation, accompanied a student to a party in St. Andrews, Scotland after playing in the Alfred Dunhill Links Championship. Lykke Stavnef, a Norwegian student, invited Murray to a party and, much to her surprise, he... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Today Is Actually Columbus Day

Way back in 1492, Christopher Columbus and three shiploads of filthy, starved, mutinous sailors found "Asia" on this day. He therefore called the inhabitants of the land "Indians". Columbus was mistaken. Some 514 years later, we celebrate the discovery of "America" on a Monday in October and teach... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, October 7, 2006

Daddy, Did You Name Me ESPN Because You Rode The Short Bus?

Some mental moron in Biloxi, Mississippi, one Rusty Real, named his baby boy ESPN Montana. He most certainly did. His wife, apparently no brain surgeon herself (the jury is out as to whether or not either parents have had lobotomies are just plain retarded), told the father that if she had a boy he... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, October 3, 2006

One Hurts Your Brain While The Other's A Pain In The Ass

You wonder about the juxtapositioning of commercials sometimes. I just watched one of those annoying Head On commercials. You know, the annoying ones that talk about how annoying Head On commercials are. (For those of you who don't know, Head On is a headache remedy that is applied directly to the... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, October 1, 2006

Names Of Celebrities Babies A Big Deal, But Who Cares?

Since most celebrities' children end up in four or five rehabs by the time they're sixteen, amount to almost nothing, but end up becoming famous some twenty years later by exposing their parents' lives (and theirs) in a tell-all bestseller, why should we give a damn what their names are? I mean,... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Why U.S. (And Bush) Is Having Difficult Time Taking Ahmahdinejad Seriously

I just noticed it. I mean, I just realized it. I am sure I noticed it all along. Most people, I'm positive, have already noticed it as well. It has been at the back of our subconscious mind. It is the reason why we cannot take that madman Mahmoud Ahmahdinejad seriously. He looks just like Bob... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Rednecks And Mexcans

The other day, my fiance and I went down to the animal shelter and adopted a dog for our boys. He's a beautiful three-year-old German Shepherd mix. (Thanks for asking.) The youngest name him Crossfire. (After the car, not what his grandaddy did at those meetings.) While we were there, this redneck... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Low Comedy At The United Nations General Assembly

Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez addressed the General Assembly of the United Nations, hoping to make his country's case for becoming a provisional member of the U.N. Security Council. He said he smelled sulfur. He crossed himself in the Catholic tradition that begs god's protection. He said satan... Sign in to see full entry.

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