The Flatliner Diaries

Saturday, September 16, 2006

What Politics Has Done To My State Of Mind

"I have a neverending migraine. Or is it a tumor? An embollism? An aneurism? I know my brain hurts and the MRI showed a glowing red and blue image of Capitol Hill. Weird, huh?" A comment I made in answer to a comment made by Artifact about politics making him have a headache. Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Whitney Divorcing Bobby? Whatever Could Be The Problem?

Citing irreconcilable differences and filing to gain custody of their 13-year-old daughter, Whitney Houston filed for legal separation from Bobby Brown. A spokesman for Houston was quick to say it was just a separation, not a divorce. Uh-huh. What happened? Got in a fight over their "connection"?... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

President Of Iran Challenges Dubya To A Debate

Just hours before the United Nations deadline for Iran to halt its uranium enrichment program and allow U.N. observers in to inspect nuclear sites, President Ahmadinejad held a press conference. He invited Bush to a debate, where they could discuss the issues that affect the world. Yeah, just what... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, August 28, 2006

George Allen Made Those Remarks Because He's "Dim"

I just watched Bill Maher on Larry King Live. When asked what he thought of George Allen and his unfortunate remarks (unfortunate because he was caught on video saying them). He said that George Allen was a politician cut in the mold of George Bush -- a nice guy but "dim". Not a bright guy. Dim. No... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Got Jesus? Got Heaven? Got Spirit? Got Salvation?

Have you noticed all the religious billboards and bumper stickers lately that have jumped on the "Got Milk?" advertising slogan copycat bandwagon? It's pathetic. You'd think these people would come up with something a little more clever, since god is their muse. Got originality? No. And it really is... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, August 25, 2006

Marriage To End Poverty

I just saw this nutjob on Fox News going on and on about marriage being the cure to poverty. He trumpeted the Republican tax reforms and the faith-based initiatives and focus on marriage and family of the GOP. So, let me see if I got this right. One poor person plus one poor person equals two people... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

President Bill Clinton Celebrated His 60th Birthday On Martha's Vineyard

Mr. Clinton turned 60 today. He celebrated with Hillary and daughter, Chelsea. No doubt, he probably wished he was celebrating with Monica or Paula or... Sign in to see full entry.

Crocodile Diving Newest Sport For White People With Money And A Death Wish

Extreme sports have become the manic fad of an adventure-seeking bored world. Well, mostly among white people. Simply put, white people are the only ethnic group stupid enough (in general) to do life-threatening acts just for the sake of doing them. Why are white people like that? You don't see... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, August 9, 2006

You Don't Have To Go On "Maury" To Find Out

Seen on a small yellow placard alongside the road: Who's Your Daddy? DNA Testing Confidential and Affordable For those who are far too discreet to go on The Maury Povich Show for a third or fourth paternity test. Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, August 6, 2006

Would You Vote For A Comedian For President?

Look, we know that most comedians are brilliant observationists. Some are social geniuses. But would you vote for a comedian for president? How about George Carlin? Bill Cosby? Dennis Miller? Billy Crystal? Jon Stewart? Steven Colbert? Bill Maher? Jeff Foxworthy? How about Roseanne Barr? Brett... Sign in to see full entry.

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