Thinking Out Loud.

By CunningLinguist - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Opinion

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Could This Possibly Be True? Rumors Are Floatin'

The Internet is a place of rumors and gossip, so take everything with a grain of salt and a splash of vinegar, but having said that - and I just did - I have to share with you a tidbit of information that's causing inflammation in my lower stomachal region. (Medical terminology.) As you may or may... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 9:30 AM | add or view comments (12) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Space Oddity

Can't say I much care what happens with the satellite getting shot down in outer space, since I have cable anyway. They're making such a big deal out of this mission with 100 million-dollar missiles and what have you... look, it ain't rocket science; just fire up the glorified dildo and blow that... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 1:16 PM | add or view comments (8) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Fat Lies & The Diet Tribe

Find me a woman who thinks she's the perfect size. I'm currently looking for Atlantis and George Washington's denture adhesive, and I'll bet I'm closer to finding them than you'd ever come to finding that female who's content with her body. Even if she was, she wouldn't admit it, because it's almost... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 2:27 PM | add or view comments (17) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Sexy Junky

I'm checking myself into rehab. Not because I have a drug or alcohol problem, but because it just seems like there's a sudden rehabilitation inclination in the declination of western civilization and I want participation. There are some really sick people out there with problems that can't be... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 9:33 AM | add or view comments (13) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Friday, February 15, 2008

Coffee - A Love Story

What the world needs now is coffee, sweet coffee. I have a jumbo headache right now, but only had a small cup of cappuccino this morning. This is a bad combination. Somebody bought me the cappuccino, so I can't complain -- but I will, because I'm always overcoming the odds. (I overcome the evens,... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 10:52 AM | add or view comments (12) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

The Streaker (History Repeats Itself & So Do I)

A naked fan runs onto the field during a sporting event. It's a rare occurrence, but it does happen occasionally. He's had too much to drink and he's tired of not being the center of attention, so he peels off his BVDs, exposing a body in its entirety which was never meant to be seen by the light of... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 8:00 AM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Men Who like Women Are Gay

(I wrote this on Valentine's Day last year.) There’s a little secret about me, which I don’t like to brag about at frat parties or NRA meetings. I avoid bringing up the subject while showering with other men, as well. How can I put this… Well, I’m just going to come right out with it. I like... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 8:37 AM | add or view comments (17) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, February 11, 2008

Literally Dreadfully Sorry?

Keith Olbermann pimping his soul. Freakin' hypocrite. Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 10:59 AM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Saturday, February 9, 2008

At the Core of Ecstasy

She lowered her head and sloppily pushed her mouth up against the juicy, bulbous fruit of desire; her heart racing a mile a minute. Enthusiasm betrayed her, as the elusive crimson-colored teaser sprang away at first contact, but she extended a warm tongue reaching out in an effort to get back into... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 11:08 AM | add or view comments (10) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Strip Poker

I have multiple personality disorder and last night I got together with all the voices in my head to play a game of strip poker; which was really disturbing, because I'm the only attractive one in the bunch. We got off to a bad start when I discovered that Bertha (one of the personalities) was... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 10:03 AM | add or view comments (9) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

About this Blog

I sit up here, taking up space in my spaceship, while observing planet earth with all its quirky whats, whatnots, and what-have-yous, and I attempt to solve all the world's problems with mental duct tape and saran wrap. The solutions to all the wurl's woes can be found here in cryptic candy coding. (Like The Da Vinci Code starring Forrest Gump.) If you can't see the answers, your questioning comes into question.

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