Blogging Naked

By notapoet - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Did I ever tell you about the time I got pants-dropping drunk?

Yeah, but I’m going to tell you again anyway. This is part of a very long post from December 28, 2003. I don’t think anyone read it then, so I don’t feel so bad about reposting a slightly edited portion of it: I was a freshman in college and had no intention of taking a single drink that day. I was... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, December 15, 2006

“One more round for me and my friends, Barkeep.”

Damn. I finally got your attention here. One post about booze and my drinking habits was all it took. That post got more response in one day than I had in the previous eight weeks. It was probably just an anomaly. It’s not likely that lightning will strike twice. After all, I did change the title of... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

I used to be a drinking man.

Too much of a drinking man, if the truth be known. I started drinking heavily while I was in college. It was all part of having a good time. I drank even heavier while I was in the army. Sometimes it was the only good time we could have. I caught myself drinking alone when I was in my mid-twenties.... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Confessions of a reformed packrat.

I used to collect almost everything imaginable. At one time in my life I had rooms full of old books, records, sports cards, old clothes and shoes, boxes full of personal papers (including every cancelled check I’d ever written), and stacks of old newspapers and magazines. That was just for... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

People should make fun of my poetry.

I think the reasons are obvious: I am not a rhymer, a non-versifier -- no poet and know it -- I am notapoet. I’m not very good at the stuff, but I’m starting to enjoy playing with it anyway. Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, November 10, 2006

"Getting paid to run my mouth in print"

…is how I once described writing a regular column to an acquaintance. I wasn’t trying to be funny. The fact that it came out that way was accidental. It was also quite true. Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, November 7, 2006

The Accidental Novel

It was already there for him to discover. Many of the words had already been written in rough draft form and needed only to be expanded upon and rewritten. Others were but fragments needing further thought and development. Still more rattled about in his brain simply waiting for the first few words... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

The main cause of death in the world today is

…living. Let’s face it. You can’t die if you weren’t alive in the first place. I once thought I’d come up with that conclusion all by my brilliant lonesome. But now I think every original thought I once believed was my own has been influenced by what I’ve read or heard. “George Santayana said:... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, October 13, 2006

The Bottom 20

How come no one ever publishes lists from the other end of the spectrum? We are exposed to Top Threes, Fives, 10s, 15s, 20s, 25s, 50s, and 100s. But no one ever publishes a list from the bottom of the barrel. Everybody seems to be interested in who is #1. But there are rarely any great any great... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, October 6, 2006

Elvis and the peon.

Sometimes writing off the cuff works, and sometimes you come up with something like I posted to my Journal blog yesterday: “But this isn’t another peon to Elvis and the music of the era.” Obviously, I meant to type “pean,” the short form of “paean.” Or so I would like to think. It was late at night... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, October 5, 2006

Notapoet's Poetry

…was one of the few humorous things I came up with that was not accidental. The whole idea of someone who is admittedly a non-poet attempting to write poetry should at least bring a smile to the lips, if not a chuckle or two. So should my latest offering in the Poetry category, though I didn’t... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, September 22, 2006

My last work of fiction was published in a weekly newspaper.

Now I’ve dreamed of being a regularly published fiction writer most of my life. While posting to my On Writing blog I suddenly realized I’d already achieved my dream, albeit not for the big bucks always envisioned in the dream. Go figure. The story in question was an account of a football game I... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

I've never stuffed beans up my nose. Honest.

I may have had a bean or two in one or both of my ears, though. I’m really not sure. I was a bean counter once upon a time in a place far, far away (not really) many years ago (all too true, unfortunately). Although I am pretty good with numbers, I don’t know beans about so many things I should be... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Notapoet is also not-a-humorist

He knows what makes him laugh, but his attempts at humor just didn’t seem to hit the mark. It seemed that the non-poet was a non-comedian as well. Or maybe he simply wasn’t a very good judge of what is funny to others. As Josh Billings once put it, “There are very few good judges of humor, and they... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Oh yes he did say that!

Samuel Langhorne Clemens (Mark Twain, if you prefer pen names): “There are many humorous things in the world: among them the white man’s notion that he is less savage than the other savages.” One of many pithy and pertinent statements by Mr. Clemens from The Dictionary of Humorous Quotations, @1949... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

The second hardest thing in the world...

Okay, I’m curious. Are you thinking of something with near diamond hardness, anatomy, or something else entirely. I’d really like to know. Now that I’ve got that out of my system, let me continue my beginning and say that the second hardest thing I ever attempted to write is humor. Look at my... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

The funniest thing about this blog

…is that notapoet isn’t very humorous. Not intentionally. Not when he’s trying. You see, notapoet never was very good at telling jokes. Worse, his ideas about what constitutes humor tend to bring a small smile or a brief chuckle. Definitely not the hearty laughs and uncontrollable guffaws of those... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, April 25, 2004

Old Man Murphy got me again.

You know, his law that I mentioned last time: “If something can go wrong, it will.“ At least I didn’t cause the whole system to crash this time. Last week I was faced with some difficult choices. My credit card was maxed out. My bank balance was $6.75. And I had $1.87 in my pocket. Along side this... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, April 24, 2004

"Murphy's Law"

I'm the real reason for Blogit's recent crash. I just came to this conclusion after spending some thought on my current circumstances. You see, I've come to believe I'm the chief beneficary of this old, time-tested rule of life. You know, the one that says "if something can go wrong, it will." Yup,... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, April 16, 2004

Ambrose said it.

I'm often mystified by what others do or don't consider funny or humorous. Sometimes I think I'll never get it. I know what amuses me -- and that seems to be about it. Good old Ambrose Bierce, whose own disappearance circa 1914, is one of the mysteries of American literature, amuses me to no end in... Sign in to see full entry.

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About this Blog

Notapoet, the expert on blogging (NOT) and poetry (double NOT) entertains you with his sidesplitting tales of real life that nobody ever seems to laugh at.

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