https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/notapoet7251/Notapoet, the expert on blogging (NOT) and poetry (double NOT) entertains you with his sidesplitting tales of real life that nobody ever seems to laugh at.hourly12000-01-01T12:00+00:00https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/notapoet7251/633849Much of what passes for topical humor is merely a recycled piece of humor with the glib substitution of a current public figure substituted for the original person slammed in the story, as in the following retread. Yes, my less than conservative views are showing again. If your position is on the...https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/notapoet7251/622829Fellow blogger northsage_45 recently pointed out that he thought jokes about horses, horse races, and Adam & Eve likely made up at least a quarter of all jokes ever written. Throw in jokes about politics and politicians and I think you can raise that estimate up to about half of the total output....https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/notapoet7251/620769It's sad that many people suffer from an addiction to gambling. Some people just can't live without the rush involved in risking large amounts of money on the turn of a card, or the outcome of a sporting event. I've always thought that life in general, and marriage in particular, is a big enough...https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/notapoet7251/620261Like my taste in music, I like the old jokes best. The best ones stand the test of time quite well. It usually takes just a little tweaking to allow for factors such as inflation to bring them up to date and provide laughs for another generation. Jimmy Durante, bless his soul, if he was still...https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/notapoet7251/620000Sexual frustration is a common topic of some of the funniest stories you're likely to run across. But most of them tend to promote the common misconception that when little is going on in the bedroom it's wife's fault. It's gotten to the point where all you have to do to get a laugh is say, “I've...https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/notapoet7251/619838As I pointed out last time while discussing jokes about Disney characters, joke writers used to step carefully when it came to trademarked Disney characters. But ol' Walt and his successors made a killing out of turning public domain nursery rhymes and fairy tales into cartoon shorts and full...https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/notapoet7251/619576Evidently not. Even beloved Walt Disney characters are being subjected to the off-color joke treatment. For instance, there is a rude and crude Mickey Mouse joke popping up all over the Internet. It seems that Mickey Mouse was suing Minnie for divorce. At the hearing Mickey was informed Minnie...https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/notapoet7251/619398I'm often amused whenever controversy over sex education erupts between church groups, school boards, teachers, and concerned parents. Like most youngsters of my day, I learned most of the facts of life long before reaching high school. Curious kids who really want to know where babies come from...https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/notapoet7251/619079Last week I was thinking about posting a religious joke on Sunday. One thing kept leading to another and the next thing I knew it was Monday morning. I decided I wasn't going to suffer the same fate this Sunday. So here, bright and early, is a story about a Sunday School lesson: A Sunday School...https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/notapoet7251/618797You meet someone you like, ask her out for a first date, and next thing you know you've been hitched for twenty years. Life is like that.There always seem to be consequences for every little act, like in the following story I heard for the first time a few days ago: A young fellow applied for a...https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/notapoet7251/618575Life is full of them. The worst, of which I've had more than my fair share, usually involve public rejection or ridicule. I've frequently wished I had a good comeback that would turn the tables. Alas, I share the normal reaction of most people in this situation: burning red checks, a loss of...https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/notapoet7251/618402It's probably just as well I gave up the ghost of entrepreneurship in the late eighties for the “security” of a regular paycheck working for someone else. I thoroughly enjoyed starting and owning a business, but was not ruthless enough to ever become really successful. On more than one occasions...https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/notapoet7251/618024One of the hardest things I've ever tried to do is to give up smoking. What finally made me decide to do it once and for all, besides the health issues, was the fact I was damned tired of my cigarettes getting soggy when I got caught in the rain. Which, of course, reminds me of a story: Two...https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/notapoet7251/604662The rapid demise of daily newspapers is dismaying to those of us who grew up in households where reading the paper was a regular daily activity. There was something for everyone, including the “funny pages” (the comic strip section) for those too young to have learned to read yet. Reading the...https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/notapoet7251/604331…and I missed out on the annual golden opportunity to pull an April Fool prank. Oh, well – maybe next year. In the meantime I’ll try to get back in the swing of things with a couple of slightly doctored oldies I ran across in an old Playboy joke book I didn’t even know I still had. It’s amazing...https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/notapoet7251/594829ACK! I’m number 666… or, more specifically, for one day the overall rank of this blog on Blogit is 666th. Haven’t been doing very well, have I? So, is this a sign from heaven (or hell)? Am I being warned, encouraged, damned, or discouraged? Bull crap! It’s business as usual. Except, in lieu of...https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/notapoet7251/591750I let inauguration day pass without dragging out a few of my favorite quotations about the presidency, including a couple by two ex-presidents. Okay, inauguration day has passed, and a day of grace. Now the kid gloves are off. Famous criminal lawyer Clarence Darrow said, “When I was a boy I was...https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/notapoet7251/590367“Damifikno!” exclaimed the naked blogger, aka notapoet, “I ain’t no nudist. I just like to get comfortable when I’m blogging. “But, I would guess they do. Maybe I should stop guessing and find out.” The search for answers via Google brought mixed results. There are millions of nudist sites out...https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/notapoet7251/587664…is that we make resolutions that are too difficult to keep. Lose weight, quit smoking, exercise regularly to get in shape…man, resolutions like that are hard for strong-willed people, much less ordinary wimps like the rest of us. If you’re going to make resolutions with a fighting chance of...https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/notapoet7251/587296Being sick through most of the holiday season is not a great deal of fun. Most of the days passed in a foggy blur while I tried to sleep my illness away. It was too painful and energy draining to stay up and about for extended periods of time. My most productive efforts were more along the lines...