Anything Goes

By gavelkorbald - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Monday, October 29, 2007

Funny Military Warnings

"Aim towards the Enemy." - Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher "When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend." - U.S. Army "Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." - U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop "If the enemy is in range, so are... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Programing Quotations

Programmers are in a race with the Universe to create bigger and better idiot-proof programs, while the Universe is trying to create bigger and better idiots. So far the Universe is winning. --Anon If you lie to the compiler, it will get its revenge. --Henry Spencer Be careful about using the... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Funny Proverbs

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic. 4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. 5. If you must choose between... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

These Were REAL Country Music Song Titles...

Following is the list of some of the most funny country songs title. 1. Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure 2. How Can I Miss You, If You Won't Go Away? 3. Get Your Biscuits In The Oven, And Your Buns In Bed 4. I Keep Forgetten I Forgot About You 5. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself, Or... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Basic Rules of Flying

Planing to be a pilot. Here are some basic rules that should always be followed while flying. 1. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made. 2. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory. 3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

20 Ways to Annoy Your Public Bathroom Stallmate

Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?" Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that." Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise. Say, "Damn, this water's cold." Drop a marble and say,... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

10 Ways to Make Your Neighbor Move....

Order pizza and other food to their house and pick it up at their doorstep claiming that you don't have a phone. Stand over the plants in your yard with a hose and Scream, "I have your life in my hands, bow down to me!". Then point at each one and declare them good or bad plants, while watering the... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Rules for this Office-

Rules for This Office- 1. All employees here love their jobs-it's just the work they hate! 2. Here is where our employees can rest from the strenuous activities of home life. 3. Any employee found dead in an upright position will be dropped from the payroll. 4. Head of business herein shall be... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Wierd American Laws....

Alabama In jasper, it is illigal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb. It is illigal to play Dominos on Sunday. It is illigal top wear a dake moustache that causes laughter in church. Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death. Alaska In... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Why Worry?

Why Worry? There are only two things to worry about, Either you are well or you are sick. If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about; But if you are sick, there are two things to worry about; Either you will get well, or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing to worry about. If... Sign in to see full entry.

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