Thinking Out Loud.

By CunningLinguist - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Opinion

Friday, May 19, 2006

Pimp Gimp Revisited

We now take you into the life of Dan Silver, a.k.a. "The Pimp Gimp". His home is rather lavish, with the velvet portrait of a nude Willie Nelson and ceramic sculptures of giant hands posed in obscene gestures. The shag carpeting on the ceilings really adds a unique touch. Quite different from the... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 10:47 AM | add or view comments (7) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, May 18, 2006

To All the Girls Who've Seen This Before - Sorry

Prom Night Blowout Two miracles occurred that I never would have guessed. I asked her to the Prom for one and second she said yes. The girl I had it bad for since early seventh grade. The picture of perfection: Ms. Kimmie Lynne Slade. I pulled up in front of her house, looking stellar in my tux. I... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 10:20 AM | add or view comments (7) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

What Happened to the Sopranos?

Am I the only one noticing how awful the Sopranos are this season? I mean, I thought last season was terrible, but this time around is a nightmare. And I have to watch anyway, because my OCDC compels me. Everyone on the show that isn't in fact homosexual might as well be. Pauley Walnuts is all upset... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 2:48 PM | add or view comments (21) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Poultry In Motion (re-post)

I am a mama's boy. Just have to make that clear before I start making fun of the woman. Love her to pieces. Now, she has a tendency to... shall we say drift off topic from time to time when she's trying to tell a story. Maybe you know somebody like this; I'm sure most people do. I use the classic... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 10:11 AM | add or view comments (10) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, May 11, 2006

American Idol Chatter

Look, guys that pee standing up will never win on American Idol. Nor should they want to. Has Ruben Studdard achieved great things following his victory on AI? Of course not. He was a cuddly ol' novelty, and the only contestant everybody wasn't sick of at that point, because Gay Aiken was overly... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 3:51 PM | add or view comments (9) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Yeast Inflection (moldy old re-post)

I had a baloney and cheese sandwich today on white bread, and I don't see what's so great about this invention. Oftentimes, I watch a movie depicting the Last Supper, where Jesus and the boys are forced to literally break bread. There were no convenient slices, but still, have we not made more... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 9:07 AM | add or view comments (8) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, May 9, 2006

Something a Little Different

Reality - Ha! Interpretation of mass hallucination, that's what I do with my time. What's it all mean in this collective-sigh dream and why do we all seem to mind? It's a cognitive conglomerate that I'll admit is a farce. Opinions abound as to what has been found but solid truth has all-ways been... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 9:08 AM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Saturday, May 6, 2006

Oxy Jen (repost)

Oxy Jen got her license today (they call her that because she wears so much Clearasil). Yes, she's 16 and a half and old enough to drive. That's how come they gave her her license, you see. Jen asked for permission to borrow the Mom & Pop Chevy for a 'night out with the gals.' Pop asked her how long... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 10:20 AM | add or view comments (6) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Friday, May 5, 2006

More Molestation Allegations

Captain Hook is being accused of sexually molesting Peter Pan. "I'd never have pegged him for a Tinkerbell," said Sleazy, the estranged Eighth Dwarf. Hook's defense attorney claims that his client was merely trying to kill Pan when he ordered him to walk the plank. Never Land is of course notorious... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 8:29 AM | add or view comments (21) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, May 3, 2006

Undocumented Alien (Close Encounter of Some Kind) (re)

Let me tell you about my night. I was in the woods, searching for seashells -- my normal routine -- and I noticed this bright green light off in the distance. At first I thought nothing of it, because I figured it was just the same toxic waste gamma rays glowing from the drums that are always tossed... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 11:01 AM | add or view comments (5) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

About this Blog

I sit up here, taking up space in my spaceship, while observing planet earth with all its quirky whats, whatnots, and what-have-yous, and I attempt to solve all the world's problems with mental duct tape and saran wrap. The solutions to all the wurl's woes can be found here in cryptic candy coding. (Like The Da Vinci Code starring Forrest Gump.) If you can't see the answers, your questioning comes into question.

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