Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Political Jokes

Some political humor in honor of the elections today. I chose past elections/presidents so as not to hear any flack about picking on anyone in particular. Hope you enjoy! Bill Clinton has just had a major new policy decision that he thinks is going to "save" America. He decides to talk it over with... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Kids

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write - and they won't let me talk!" On the way home from the first day of school, the father asked his son, "What did you do at school today?" The little boy shrugged his... Sign in to see full entry.

Who says kids don't know ...

A FIRST GRADE TEACHER collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest. As you shall make your bed so shall you..........mess it up. Better be safe than......................punch a 5th grader. Strike while... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

I wanna tv!

A blonde walks into an electronics store and says, "I'd like to buy that tv please." The salesperson replies, "I'm sorry. We don't sell to blondes here." The blonde goes home and dyes her hair brown, and a few days later returns to the store, again asking to buy the tv. "I told you, we don't sell to... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Who says the young are creative

Young Larry stopped by the corner grocery store and read the following list to the clerk: 10 pounds sugar at $1.25 a pound 4 pounds coffee at $1.50 a pound 2 pounds butter at $1.10 a pound 2 bars soap at $.83 each "How much does that come to?" asked Larry. "Twenty-two dollars and thirty-six cents."... Sign in to see full entry.

Smartalek in every crowd

A visitor to a certain college paused to admire the new Hemingway Hall that had been built on campus. "It's a pleasure to see a building named for Ernest Hemingway," he said. "Actually," said his guide, "it's named for Joshua Hemingway. No relation." The visitor was astonished. "Was Joshua Hemingway... Sign in to see full entry.

Oh Please Teach!

Teacher: What is the axis of the earth? Student: The axis of the earth is an imaginary line which passes from one pole to the other, and on which the earth revolves. Teacher: Very good. Now, could you hang clothes on that line? Student: Yes, Sir. Teacher: Indeed, and what sort of clothes? Student:... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, November 2, 2012

Public Speaking Recently our speaker had to discontinue several of his long talks on account of his throat. Several people threatened to cut it. You have heard it said before that this speaker needs no introduction. Well, I have heard him and he needs all the introduction he can get. Our speaker... Sign in to see full entry.

Never tick off the missus! II

One night my exhusband invited someone over to our house to drink. We had a newborn son who had colic. They played music and drank until about 10pm. He decided to take him home and was hours late without a phone call. I spent hours rocking the son to get him to sleep. Finally I had him asleep so... Sign in to see full entry.

I can spell

A high-school student came home from school seeming rather depressed. "What's the matter, son," asked his mother. "Aw, gee," said the boy, "It's my marks. They're all wet." "What do you mean `all wet?'" "I mean," he replied, "below C-level." Sign in to see full entry.