Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Friday, November 16, 2012

Jokes from my uncle

My uncle told me these jokes years ago.... A man with a wood eye was courting a woman with a harelip. The man asked her to marry him...."Would I!" She responded excitedly....He replied "Harelip!" A man with a harelip tried to get a job unsuccessfully for several weeks. Finally he was hired to sell... Sign in to see full entry.

It's a bird ...

A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie." The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?" Sign in to see full entry.

What do they have in common?

What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas, and a hurricane in Florida have in common? Somebody's fixin' to lose them a trailer. Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Can you get that for me?

Seriously.....How does he put his shoes on to come on the set if he can't even pick up his glove off the floor when he drops it? Just asking! Yesterday as well he dropped something and then couldn't bend to pick it up and had to kick whatever it was off to the side Today I got a different room right... Sign in to see full entry.

Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes. 15 minutes looking for... Sign in to see full entry.

Deer or Wolf?

Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, and one half hour later they were both killed by a... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Revenge is best served hidden

After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a younger woman. The downtown luxury apartment was in his name and he wanted to remain there with his new love so he asked the wife to move out and then he would buy her another place. The wife agreed to this, but asked that she be given 3 days... Sign in to see full entry.

Just following the signs!

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

A whole new meaning

A blonde was walking along, when she looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly over her. The blonde says, "Good thing I had my mouth open, or that would've hit me right in the face!" Sign in to see full entry.

I can read the signs

A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when he saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, he said to himself "oh well!" and turned around and drove home. On his way home, the same blonde drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS EIGHT MILES". By the... Sign in to see full entry.