Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Nothing like a compassionate boss!

For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9A.M. on the dot. He had never missed a day and was never late. Consequently, when on one particular day 9 A.M. passed without Johnson's arrival, it caused a sensation. All work ceased, and the boss himself, looking at his watch and muttering, came... Sign in to see full entry.

Fishermen have their own vocab!

"Hiyamac" "Lobuddy" "Binearlong?" "Coplours" "Cetchenny?" "Goddafew" "Kindarthay?" "Bassencarp" "Ennysizetoom?" "Couplapowns" "Hittinhard?" "Sordalike" "Wachoosen?" "Gobbawurms" "Fishanonaboddum?" "Rydononaboddum" "Whatchadrinkin?" "Jugajimbeam" "Igoddago" "Tubad" "Seeyaroun" "Yeahtakideezy"... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Dog Do Not Do List

This list of chalkboard assignments may be used for your dog when he does not behave well. The below variations and choices will help you pick an assignment. A. Fill in the blanks 1. [xxx] is not food. Spiders; bandaids; ivy and airplane plants; Xmas ornaments; the carved jack-o-lantern; plants from... Sign in to see full entry.

Can you follow directions?

An old blacksmith realized he was soon going to quit working so hard. He picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice. The old fellow was crabby and exacting. "Don't ask me a lot of questions," he told the boy. "Just do whatever I tell you to do." One day the old blacksmith took an iron... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, September 20, 2013

The answering machine

John: Brad, will you get the phone? Brad: (Sound of frantically clattering keyboard.) I can't! I'm playing Omega! John: Ambar, will you get the phone? Ambar: I can't! I'm late for work! (Sound of slamming door.) John: Aimee, will you get the phone? Aimee: (Sound of running water.) I can't! I'm in... Sign in to see full entry.

He can't play!

A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn't improve. Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, "When a musician just can't handle his instrument and doesn't improve when given help, they take... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Kids say the silliest things! VII

What does a caterpillar do on New Years Day? Turns over a new leaf! What is the definition of a caterpillar? A worm in a fur coat! What has stripes and pulls a tractor? A caterpillar tractor! What does a cat go to sleep on? A caterpillow! What's green and dangerous? A caterpillar with a machine gun!... Sign in to see full entry.

Casual fridays

Casual Fridays: Week 1 - Memo No. 1 Effective this week, the company is adopting Fridays as Casual Day. Employees are free to dress in the casual attire of their choice. Week 3 - Memo No. 2 Spandex and leather micro-miniskirts are not appropriate attire for Casual Day. Neither are string ties, rodeo... Sign in to see full entry.

Kids say the silliest things! VI

Q: What is cleverer than a talking cat? A: A spelling bee! Q: How do you know that cats are sensitive creatures? A: They never cry over spilt milk! Q: What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla? A: An animal that puts you out at night! Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangeroo?... Sign in to see full entry.

Tenants write the silliest things

Excerpts from actual letters sent to landlords The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared. I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfires and burnt my knob off. This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door. The toilet seat is... Sign in to see full entry.