Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Stupid news

The Los Angeles Board of Education has OK'd a plan to equip school police cars with guns. The plan works on a tier system: Police at elementary schools will carry supersoakers, junior high patrols will carry paint guns, and shotguns will be used at high schools. A severly disturbed geography teacher... Sign in to see full entry.

You just can't make this up!

SIX DIE TRYING TO SAVE CHICKEN - August 1, 1995 CAIRO, Egypt (AP) - Six people drowned yesterday while trying to rescue a chicken that had fallen into a well in southern Egypt. An 18-year-old farmer was the first to descend into the 60-foot well. He drowned, apparently after an undercurrent in the... Sign in to see full entry.

She was so blonde that...

She thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools. She thought General Motors was in the army. She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats. At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," she put "Sagittarius." She tripped over a cordless phone. She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange... Sign in to see full entry.

Porn Shop

blonde walks into a porno shop: She asks, "How much for the white dildo?" He answers, "35 bucks" She: "How much for the black one?" He: "$35 for the black one, $35 for the white one." She: "I think I'll take the black one. I've never had a black one before." She pays him, and off she goes. A little... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, September 23, 2013

this guy must be a blonde

Joe was sitting at a bar. He was totally depressed. The bartender, serving him a drink, asked what was wrong."Ill never understand women" said Joe. "The other night on my birthday, my wife said as my gift, I could do with her what I wanted.""Wow! Thats quite some gift" said the bartender. "So why... Sign in to see full entry.

birthday

A kindly old lady came across a little boy sitting on the pavement crying his eyes out. Whats the matter? she asked. Its my birthday! he hollered. And I had a bicycle and a new tracksuit and this afternoon theres to be a party with crisps and jelly and a birthday cake and a disco afterwards... and... Sign in to see full entry.

A guide to Drinking

A solution to all of your drinking troubles Symptom: Drinking fails to give satisfaction and taste; shirt front is wet. Fault: Mouth not open or glass being applied to wrong part of face. Solution: Buy another pint and practice in front of a mirror. Continue with as many pints as necessary until... Sign in to see full entry.

Have you seen these bumper stickers?

My karma ran over your dogma. I brake for... wait... AAAH! NO BRAKES!!!!! A fool and his money are a girl's best friend. I'm not driving fast-just flying low. Help starve a feeding bureaucrat. My other vehicle is a Romulan Warbird! Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. "I is a college... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Poetic answering machine message

These words are lovely dark and deep But I've got promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep So leave a message at the beep. Sign in to see full entry.

Texan shares wisdom

Never squat with yer spurs on. There's two theories to arguin' with a woman; neither one works. Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew, your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think. If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog... Sign in to see full entry.