Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Monday, November 11, 2013

persistent!

A duck walks into a bar. It asks the bar tender if he has any crackers?? The bartender says No. The next day the duck walks into the bar and asks the same question. The bartender says "No, i dont have any crackers," The next day the same thing happens, with the same response from the bartender. On... Sign in to see full entry.

sound familiar?

You find yourself listening to talk radio. You daughter says she got pierced and you look at her ears. The pattern on your shorts and couch match. You fondly remember your powder blue leisure suit. You think Tragically Hip is when a middle-aged man gets a new sports car, hair piece and a 20 year old... Sign in to see full entry.

what comes first...its a groaner!

A chicken and an egg check into a cheap motel room.Moments later the chicken sits up against the headboard and lights a cigarette. The egg says, "Well, that settles that." Sign in to see full entry.

3 gifts

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother. The first said, "I built a big house for our mother." The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes." The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat.... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

beemer

A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken and considerable damage to the bonnet. There's no sign of the offending vehicle but he's relieved to see that there's a note stuck under the windshield wiper. "Sorry. I just backed into your Beemer. The witnesses who saw the accident... Sign in to see full entry.

naughty santa

It was Christmas Eve, and a lady hadn't had sex in a long time, so she decided to wait for Santa. When he came down the chimney, she took off her shirt and said, "Ooh Santa, please stay." And he said, "Ho ho ho, guess I better go, gotta get toys to children, ya know." So she took off her pants and... Sign in to see full entry.

Gorilla at large

As he was quietly watching television at home, the chap heard a sound on the roof of his house and rushed out to investigate. Seeing it was a fair-sized gorilla tearing the shingles off his home, he promptly called up the local zoo authorities to inform them one of their animals had escaped. He was... Sign in to see full entry.

Can't fool a nun

Once upon a time there was a priest and a nun that were traveling on a camel. On a desert. Then in 3 months the camel dies. So the priest and the nun were stuck with each other alone. The priest find no other way to survive.So he says," I'm going to show you something that you never seen before." So... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Let's see who is telling tall tales

At Duke University, there were four sophomores taking Organic Chemistry. They were doing so well on all the quizzes, midterms and labs, etc., that each had an "A" so far for the semester. These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to the University of... Sign in to see full entry.

one upmanship

Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs are. The first man was an Engineer, the second was an Accountant, the third was a Chemist, and the fourth man was a Government Worker. To show off, the Engineer called to his dog. "T-Square, do your stuff." T-Square trotted over to a desk, took out... Sign in to see full entry.