Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Saturday, January 11, 2014

removal

A beautiful, sexy, good looking lady was sitting next to a guy in a plane...... The lady said to him ' Can you help me remove something from my breast please? ‘The exciting young man replied, 'Wow! It will be my pleasure....... So what is it?' "Your Eyes, idiot!" Sign in to see full entry.

merv

Merv was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off both of his ears. Since he was permanently disfigured, he settled with the company for a rather large sum of money and went on his way. One day, Merv decided to invest his money in a small, but growing telecom... Sign in to see full entry.

students...sigh

The teacher said; “Take a pencil and paper, and write an essay with the title ‘If I Were a Millionaire.’” Everyone but Joe, who leaned back with arms folded, began to write feverishly. “What’s the matter,” the teacher asked. “Why don’t you begin?” “I’m waiting for my secretary,” Joe replied. Sign in to see full entry.

safe driver

A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?" "No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're going to do... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, January 10, 2014

oopsie!

An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her... Sign in to see full entry.

loan

Before going to Europe on business, a man drives his Rolls-Royce to a downtown New York City bank and asks for an immediate loan of $5,000. The loan officer, taken aback, requests collateral. "Well then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce," the man says. The loan officer promptly has the car driven... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Alcohol experiment

A man wanted to prove to a group of alcoholics the effect of alcohol in human body system. He brought two jars; one containing water and the other containing alcohol, along with a very healthy worm. He said to the audience: "This jar contain water" He dropped the worm in the jar and said, "Please... Sign in to see full entry.

home

I think my smartphone is broken. I keep pressing the Home button, but I'm still working. Sign in to see full entry.

wondering

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? - - Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? - - Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? - - Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? - - Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? - - Why is it that to... Sign in to see full entry.

bad news

A man goes on a 2-month business trip to Europe and leaves his cat with his brother. Three days before his return he calls his brother. Brother 1: So how is my cat doing? Brother 2: He's Dead Brother 1: He's Dead! What do you mean He's Dead! I loved that cat. Couldn't you think of a nicer way to... Sign in to see full entry.