Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Saturday, March 8, 2014

to the point

The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. "What is your name?" was the first thing the manager asked the new guy. "John," the new guy replied. The manager scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked at before, but I... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, March 7, 2014

hey prof!

Joe, a college student, was taking a course in ornithology, the study of birds. The night before the biggest test of the semester, Joe spent all night studying. He had the textbook nearly memorized. He knew his class notes backward and forward. Joe was ready. The morning of the test, Joe entered the... Sign in to see full entry.

looooooooooool

A man takes his hamster to the vet, and after a short look at the creature the vet pronounces it dead. Not happy with the vet's diagnosis the man asks for a second opinion. The vet gives a whistle and in strolls a Labrador dog. The dog nudges the hamster around with its nose and sniffs it a couple... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, March 6, 2014

ah revenge...how sweet it is!

A man takes his place in the theater, but his seat is too far from the stage. He whispers to the usher, "This is a mystery, and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I'll give you a handsome tip." The usher moves him into the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter.... Sign in to see full entry.

memories

Two elderly couples were enjoying a friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?" "Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization, association, etc. It was great." "That's... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

fired!

Peter was telling a friend that he had just lost his job. “ Why did the foreman fire you?” the friend asked in surprise. “Oh,” Peter said, “you know how foreman are. They stand around with their hands in their pockets watching everybody else work.” “We all know that,” replied his friend. “But why... Sign in to see full entry.

groaner alert!

A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing. The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

at the auction

Selling at an auction was halted when the auctioneer announced, “Someone in the room has lost his wallet containing $2,000. He is offering a reward of $500.00 for its immediate return.” After a moment of silence, there was a call from the back of the room, “$550.00” Sign in to see full entry.

one upping

An Israeli doctor says: "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in 6 weeks." A British doctor says: "That is nothing; we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in 4... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, March 1, 2014

one upmanship perfected

A very loud Texan Engineer was visiting Australia, and talking big about all of the large civil works in the USA that he was involved in. To be polite his Australian counterpart took him on a tour of some of Sydney’s larger constructions. First he took him to Gladesville Bridge. The Texan exclaimed,... Sign in to see full entry.