What do you
Q: What does every woman call an intelligent, attractive, caring, loving and sensitive man? A: A dream. Sign in to see full entry.
Saturday, April 5, 2014
losing weight
An Antartian is terribly overweight, so his doctor puts him on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks," the doctor ordered. "The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds." When the Antartian returns, he's lost... Sign in to see full entry.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
There was a doctor, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist sitting around late one evening, and they discussed which the oldest profession was. The doctor pointed out that according to Biblical tradition, God created Eve from Adam's rib. This obviously required surgery, so therefore that was the... Sign in to see full entry.
statues
A famous scientist developed a formula to bring statues to life. He went to a local park to try it out on a statue of Gen. Ulysses Grant. After application, Gen Grant began to move and soon was completely alive. The scientist asked, "What's the first thing you'll do, General?" The general answered... Sign in to see full entry.
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
did you hear the one about?
Did you hear about the two radio antennas that got married? The wedding was terrible, but the reception was excellent! Sign in to see full entry.
maybe not farming
A city slicker moves to the country and decides he's going to start farming. He goes to the local co-op and tells the man, "Give me 100 baby chickens." The co-op man complies. A week later the man returns and says, "Give me 200 baby chickens." The co-op man complies. Again, a week later the man... Sign in to see full entry.
Sunday, March 30, 2014
aww shucks
A soldier was asked to report to headquarters for assignment. The sergeant said: "We have a critical shortage of typists. I'll give you a little test. Type this," he ordered, giving him a pamphlet to copy and a sheet of paper, and pointing to a desk across the room that held a typewriter and an... Sign in to see full entry.
uh oh
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, sir," the clerk replied. "That's good," the boss said. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you." Sign in to see full entry.
Saturday, March 29, 2014
pkging
The factory foreman inspected the shipment of crystal vases leaving the plant, and approached his new packer. He put his arm around the man’s shoulder and said, “Well, Ole, I see you did what I asked. Stamped the top of each box, ‘This Side Up, Handle With Care.’” “Yes sir,” the worker replied. “And... Sign in to see full entry.
brains
A cannibal entered the meat market to buy something nice for dinner. The owner greeted him and told him to look around. The cannibal began to inspect the meat case and noticed the market specialized in brain. Upon further inspection he noticed a marked disparity between the costs of brain meats. A... Sign in to see full entry.