Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Sunday, March 23, 2014

HR posting

Notice to Employees (Includes Temporary and Part Time Staff) SICKNESS We will no longer accept your doctors' notes as proof. We believe if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to work. LEAVE OF ABSENCE FOR SURGERY We are no longer allowing this practice. As long as you are employed here,... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

hey officer!

The following 15 Police Comments were taken from actual police car videos around the country. Count down to #1... #15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while." # 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a... Sign in to see full entry.

vacation

Mr. and Mrs. Thorne had just reached the airport in the nick of time to catch the plane for their two-week's vacation in Majorca. "I wish we'd brought the piano with us," said Mr. Thorne. "What on earth for?" asked his wife. "I've left the tickets on it." Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, March 21, 2014

job hunting lingo

Part I WHAT THE NEW JOB-LINGO REALLY MEANS by Dede Molter "JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY": We have no time to train you. "CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE": We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings. "MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED": You'll be six months... Sign in to see full entry.

heaven!

Once upon a time, there was a cat that died. When she got to heaven, God asked her how she liked being on earth. She told the Lord that it was awful -- she had to sleep in cold black alleys, where there was no food and life was hard. God told her that he was sorry it had had turned out that way --... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, March 20, 2014

drunks

There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking his beer, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big dude comes in and -- WHACK!! -- knocks him off the bar stool and onto the floor. The big dude says, "That was a karate chop from Korea." The little guy thinks "GEEZ," but he... Sign in to see full entry.

deep hole

Two men were walking through the woods and came upon a big black, deep hole. One man picked up a rock and tossed it into the hole and stood listening for the rock to hit bottom. There was no sound. He turned to the other guy and said "that must be a deep hole...let's throw a bigger rock in there and... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

in honor of kabu and wiley roflmao!

A rather old fashioned lady, always quite delicate and elegant, especially in her language, was planning a weeks holiday in Sydney with her husband, so she wrote to a particular camping ground and asked for a reservation. She wanted to make sure that the camping ground was fully equipped, but didn't... Sign in to see full entry.

my kind of guy!

A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says, "You can't drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately." The guy says okay, and drives away. The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, March 16, 2014

why mom!

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!" "But why, Mom? I don't want to go." "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go." "Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!" "Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on... Sign in to see full entry.