Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

can you lend 2

One day a rich famous man went to buy a sport car from a dealership. The price of the car was $80000 and the man had only $79998 to pay. The sales associate insisted that the price is firm and it has to be $80000. The man came out of the store and looked around and saw a poor man begging for help.... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, April 6, 2014

can you repeat that!

An Accident Report I am writing in response to your request for “additional information.” In block number 30 of the accident report form, I put “poor planning” as the cause for my accident. You said in your last letter that I should explain more fully. I trust that the following detail will be... Sign in to see full entry.

cheap kittens

“Have you got any kittens going cheap?” Asked a customer in a pet shop. “No, sir,” replied the owner. “All our kittens go “Meow.” Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, April 5, 2014

What do you

Q: What does every woman call an intelligent, attractive, caring, loving and sensitive man? A: A dream. Sign in to see full entry.

losing weight

An Antartian is terribly overweight, so his doctor puts him on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks," the doctor ordered. "The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds." When the Antartian returns, he's lost... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

There was a doctor, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist sitting around late one evening, and they discussed which the oldest profession was. The doctor pointed out that according to Biblical tradition, God created Eve from Adam's rib. This obviously required surgery, so therefore that was the... Sign in to see full entry.

statues

A famous scientist developed a formula to bring statues to life. He went to a local park to try it out on a statue of Gen. Ulysses Grant. After application, Gen Grant began to move and soon was completely alive. The scientist asked, "What's the first thing you'll do, General?" The general answered... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

did you hear the one about?

Did you hear about the two radio antennas that got married? The wedding was terrible, but the reception was excellent! Sign in to see full entry.

maybe not farming

A city slicker moves to the country and decides he's going to start farming. He goes to the local co-op and tells the man, "Give me 100 baby chickens." The co-op man complies. A week later the man returns and says, "Give me 200 baby chickens." The co-op man complies. Again, a week later the man... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, March 30, 2014

aww shucks

A soldier was asked to report to headquarters for assignment. The sergeant said: "We have a critical shortage of typists. I'll give you a little test. Type this," he ordered, giving him a pamphlet to copy and a sheet of paper, and pointing to a desk across the room that held a typewriter and an... Sign in to see full entry.