Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Friday, May 2, 2014

Ouch!

Two man playing golf were held up by two women playing in front of them. One man said: "I'll walk up to them and tell them to hurry up." When he returned he said: "I have a problem, one of the women is my wife and the other one is my mistress." The second man said: "I'll walk up to them and hurry... Sign in to see full entry.

work sign

Sign on company bulleting board: “This firm requires no physical-fitness program. Everyone gets enough exercise jumping to conclusions, flying of the handle, running down the boss, flogging dead horses, knifing friend in the back, dodging responsibility, and pushing their luck.” Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

oh lil johnny!

One day the school principal was talking to Little Johnny's teacher about his behavior, when all of a sudden Johnny comes running down the hallway. The principal stops Johnny and asks him, why are you running? Little Johnny says; I’m keeping two kids from fighting, sir. Who? ask the principal. Me... Sign in to see full entry.

blondes

Q. Why can’t a blonde dial 911? A. She can't find the eleven Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

lawyer in an accident

A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. "Officer, look what they've done to my Beemer!" he whined. "You lawyers are... Sign in to see full entry.

lawyers

A Yankee lawyer went duck hunting in eastern North Carolina. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly gentleman asked him what he was doing. The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, April 28, 2014

love those politicians

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. ‘Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter. 'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you... Sign in to see full entry.

lil johnny...

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an "F" in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father. "The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6.'" "But that's right!" The father replied. "Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'" "What the heck's the stupid difference?" asked the father. "That's what I... Sign in to see full entry.

wooing the wife

Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob just went straight over to Joe's place. When they got to the door, Joe went straight to his wife, gave her a hug and told her how beautiful she was and how much he had missed her at work. When it was time for supper, he complimented... Sign in to see full entry.

leaving the bar a bit tipsy

Recently on a routine police patrol parked outside a local neighborhood bar the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his... Sign in to see full entry.