gotcha teach!
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I." MILLIE: I is... TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am." MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." Sign in to see full entry.
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
emergency landing
A helicopter carrying passengers suddenly looses engine power and the aircraft begins to decent. The pilot safely performs an emergency landing in water, and tells the passengers to remain seated and to keep the doors closed, stating that in emergency situations, the aircraft is designed to stay... Sign in to see full entry.
Sunday, June 22, 2014
swearin parrot
So there's this man with a parrot. And his parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. The trouble is that the guy who owns the parrot is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy. One day, it... Sign in to see full entry.
Daaaaaaad!
His father sends a small boy to bed. Five minutes later.... "Da-ad...." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?" "No. You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??" "I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have to... Sign in to see full entry.
Saturday, June 21, 2014
Flight attendants
1. Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal." 2. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until... Sign in to see full entry.
3men
Three men wanted to cross a river. They had no idea how to cross it, so one man knelt down on his knees and prayed "Lord give me the power and strength the cross the river." suddenly the man became very strong and swam across the river. The next man thought: if it worked for him, it'll work for me.... Sign in to see full entry.
Friday, June 20, 2014
Oh lil johnny!
Teacher to Lil Johnny: "Can you think of a solution to end unemployment?" "Yes, sir! I'd put all the men on one island and the women on another." "And what would they be doing then?" "Building boats!" Sign in to see full entry.
flying
A man at the airline counter tells the rep. “I’d like this bag to go to Berlin, this one to California, and this one to London. The rep says, “I’m sorry sir. We can’t do that.” The man replied: Nonsense. That is what you did last time I flew with you. Sign in to see full entry.
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Lil Johnny strikes on last day of school!
A schoolteacher asked her primary six class to construct sentences with the words: defeat, detail, defense. There was a pause before lil Johnny raised his hand and said he could make a sentence with them; "The cow jumped over defense and detail went over defeat." Sign in to see full entry.
drunk!
A man was well inebriated, but he got behind the wheel of his car anyway and began to drive home. Of course, he couldn't exactly drive straight or stay below the speed limit. Two policemen pulled him over and demanded a sobriety test. They asked him to walk a straight line, and he failed. They began... Sign in to see full entry.