Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Monday, June 2, 2014

Oh lil johnny is on the loose again

Little Johnny's class were on an outing to their local police station where they saw pictures, of the ten most wanted men, tacked to a bulletin board. On the way out of the police station Little Johnny said to the officer, "it was so nice of you to put my daddy's picture up there." Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Oh boy

I hear the boys are gonna strike," one worker told another. "What for?" asked the friend. "Shorter hours." "Good for them. I always did think 60 minutes was too long for an hour." Sign in to see full entry.

interchange at dinner table

A history teacher and his wife were sitting at a table, the wife asked “Anything new at work”, and he replied", no, I am teaching History". Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, May 31, 2014

quick thinking

A Japanese soap manufacturing company received a complaint that a consumer had bought a box of soap that was empty. Management tasked its engineers to solve the problem permanently to avoid any reoccurrence. The engineers worked hard to devise an X-ray machine with high-resolution monitors manned by... Sign in to see full entry.

putting out fires

A small community had a fire and the local volunteer fire department. Well, the fire was just too big so they called for mutual aid from their neighboring town. Their fire truck came zooming by the local one and went right down the hill and parked right next to the fire. The fire fighters jumped out... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, May 30, 2014

gotcha bill!

So Bill Gates and the chairman of GM are arguing over which company is better. Bill Gates boast, " If cars grew in technology as fast as computers did, we would be driving v-32 instead of v-8, our cars would get 5000 miles to the gallon, the top speed would be mach seven. Anyway the sticker price... Sign in to see full entry.

hey barkeep!

An obnoxious drunk stumbles into the front door of a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says, "No way, buddy, you're too drunk." A few minutes later, the drunk comes in though the bathroom. Again he slurs, "Give me a drink," and the bartender says, "No, man, I told you last time -- you're too... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, May 29, 2014

poets!

A poet and a scientist were traveling together on a plane. The scientist was bored and said to the poet, "Hey, you, do you want to play a game? I'll ask you a question, and if you get it wrong, you give me $5. Then, you ask me a question, and if I can't answer it, I'll give you $5." The poet thought... Sign in to see full entry.

at the races

A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, "All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, "ALLLLEEE OOOP!" really loudly in the horse's ear. Providing you do that,... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

feeding animals at the zoo

A sign at Budapest’s Zoo requests: PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY Sign in to see full entry.