Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Elderly

A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three very large, leathered bikers walked in. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie and then took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old man, spat into the old man's milk and then he too took... Sign in to see full entry.

grizzlies

The National Game warden put out a warning to all hikers in his area. Warning that they should wear small bells on their boots so not to startle the bears. To distinguish the grizzly bear the notice read-- small bears droppings are small with nut and berries in it. Grizzly bear droppings are much... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

optometrist

Did you hear what happened to the optometrist? He fell into his lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself. Sign in to see full entry.

Headlines

A vertically challenged psychic was arrested one day. He escaped from jail and the newspaper headline read, "SMALL MEDIUM AT-LARGE." Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, June 16, 2014

ask a dumb question

"Simon, if I had eight apples in my right hand and ten apples in my left hand, what would I have?” “Huge hands, sir.” Sign in to see full entry.

teacher!

The teacher wrote on the blackboard, “I ain’t had no fun all summer.” “Now Paul,” she said. “What shall I do to correct this?” “Get a boy friend.” Paul replied. Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

simulated battle

During a simulated attack, the troops have to defend themselves against an imaginary enemy, as the sergeant calls it. Bawling out orders, he notices that one recruit shows little response. “You there,” the sergeant shouts, “the imaginary enemy is advancing, and your are caught in the crossfire.... Sign in to see full entry.

at the zoo

A man started a new job at a zoo. He was given his first job by the zoo owner – to clean out the large tropical fish tank, which contained many exotic species. While removing some gravel from the tank with his spade, he accidently hit one of the fish and killed it. Worried about losing his job for... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, June 14, 2014

did he really say that!

While taxiing at London Gatwick, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going! I told you to turn right onto... Sign in to see full entry.

thrifty

A young man bought an expensive piece of jewelry as a present for his girlfriend. “Don’t you want her name engraved on it?” asked the clerk. The young man thought for a moment, and then, ever the realistic, steadfastly replied, “No, just engrave it: To My One and Only Love. That way, if we break up... Sign in to see full entry.