Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Saturday, June 7, 2014

job titles

In an age when everyone seems to be playing the name game of glorifying job titles, the man in charge of the meat department at a grocery store in Wisconsin deserves a round of applause. On his weekly time card he describes his position as Meat Head.” Sign in to see full entry.

Tardy student

TEACHER: Why are you late, Frank? FRANK: Because of the sign. TEACHER: What sign? FRANK: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow. Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

pet store

A man walks into a Silicon Valley pet store looking to buy a monkey. The store owner points towards three identical looking monkeys in politically-correct, animal-friendly natural mini-habitats. "The one on the left costs $500," says the store owner. "Why so much?" asks the customer. "Because it can... Sign in to see full entry.

landing a plane

A pilot landed a plane with a rather bumpy landing. As part of his job he was required to stand by the terminal door and say goodbye to the passengers as they exited the airplane. He was afraid that someone might say something about his rather less than perfect landing, but everyone left without... Sign in to see full entry.

rose colored glasses

After being laid off from five different jobs in four months, Peter was hired by a warehouse. But one day he lost control of the forklift and drove it off the loading dock. Surveying the damage, the owner shook his head and said he’d have to withhold 10 percent of Peter’s wages to pay for the... Sign in to see full entry.

job applicant

The economy is not going well and an unemployed engineer desperately needing work is nervous about an upcoming accountant job interview. The interview goes well, but as the engineer stands up to leave the manager says, "Oh just one more question. How much is four times eight?" Puzzled, the engineer... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

what happened to your job?

How is your new job at the factory?” One guy asked another. “I’m not going back there.” Why not?” “For many reasons,” he answered. “The sloppiness, the shoddy workmanship, the awful language – they just couldn’t put up with it. Sign in to see full entry.

ha!

Three leaders of the big beer companies meet for a drink. The president of Budweiser orders a Bud. Miller's president orders a Millers and the president of Coors orders a Coors. When it is Guinness turn to order he orders a soda. Why didn't you order a Guinness everyone asks? Nah Guinness replies.... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Kabu! Don't drink water while reading this...anybody else for that matter

Yeah, so I just about pulled something in my neck laughing at this..I just had to share. (I highly recommend that you DO NOT drink anything while reading.) My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, and play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, June 2, 2014

love those puns

A cheating painting contractor has been skimping by thinning his paint excessively. Nevertheless, he lands a big job painting a church. He's almost done when a major storm comes up. It washes all the paint off. Midst the thunder and lightening, a loud voice is heard, REPAINT, and REPAINT, THIN NO... Sign in to see full entry.