Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Saturday, August 9, 2014

no crayons

Mrs. Smith, I ain’t got no crayons. Young man, you mean, I don’t have any crayons. You don’t have any crayons. We don’t have any crayons. They don’t have any crayons. Do you see what I’m getting at? I think so. What happened to all the crayons? Sign in to see full entry.

direct object

In a grammar lesson in eighth grade Mrs. O’Neill said, “Paul, give me a sentence with a direct object.” Paul replied. “Everyone thinks you are the best teacher in the school.” “Thank you, Paul,” responded Mrs. O’Neill, “but what is the object?” “To get the best mark possible,” said Paul. Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, August 8, 2014

capitalism

A man walks pass a beggar on the corner of the street where he works. The beggar holds out his one hand and the man drops a coin into his hand. One day the man walks pass the beggar again and notices the beggar is holding hold out both his hands. He asks: “Why are you holding out both of your... Sign in to see full entry.

one upmanship

Three old couples were having tea one fine day. There were all chatting and whatnot when one of the men, trying to get a chuckle, said to his wife, "Pass the honey, honey!” Getting the chuckle he expected, he carried on. A moment later, the second man said, "Pass the sugar, sugar!" This got a bit of... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, August 7, 2014

when i die

A businessman, on his deathbed, called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die, you will have my remains cremated." "And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?" The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal... Sign in to see full entry.

ask a dumb question

A man had a nose ring fitted into his nose, a friend asked, "how much did you pay for that?" "I paid through the nose!” he replied. Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

another groaner

Q. Where did the Egyptian Mummy go to get her back fixed? A. The Cairo..practor! Sign in to see full entry.

boy and girl

There was a little baby boy and a little baby girl. Then the baby boy goes "I'm a boy, you are a girl!" Then the girl goes "How do you know?" Then the little boy goes "I'll show you when the nurse leaves." So about 10 minutes later, the nurse leaves. So the boy lifts up his gown and... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

stealing doesn't always pay

The judge frowned at the tired robber and said, “then you admit breaking into the same store on three successive nights?” ”Yes, your honor.” “And why was that?” “Because my wife wanted a dress.” The judge check with his records, “But it says here you broke in three nights in a row!” “Yes sir. She... Sign in to see full entry.

ethics 101

A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. "If I lose this case, I'll be ruined." "It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer. "Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?" "Oh no! This judge is a stickler on ethical behavior. A stunt like that... Sign in to see full entry.