are you complete or finished?
People say that there is no difference between ‘finished’ and ‘complete’. I say there is..... Marry the right person, and you’re ‘complete’ Marry the wrong person, and you’re ‘finished’ Sign in to see full entry.
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
are you complete or finished?
People say that there is no difference between ‘finished’ and ‘complete’. I say there is..... Marry the right person, and you’re ‘complete’ Marry the wrong person, and you’re ‘finished’ Sign in to see full entry.
Monday, September 1, 2014
groaner alert
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties... Sign in to see full entry.
monkey business
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it the monkey is running wild. The monkey jumps up on the pool table and grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender is livid and says to the guy, "Did you see what your monkey... Sign in to see full entry.
Sunday, August 31, 2014
lil johnny's sister
Teacher: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? Cindy: You told me to do it without using tables! Sign in to see full entry.
direct object
In a grammar lesson in eighth grade Mrs. O’Neill said, “Paul, give me a sentence with a direct object.” Paul replied. “Everyone thinks you are the best teacher in the school.” “Thank you, Paul,” responded Mrs. O’Neill, “but what is the object?” “To get the best mark possible,” said Paul Sign in to see full entry.
Saturday, August 30, 2014
drunk
The drunken defendant appears yet again before the tired judge, who says, "You have been constantly appearing before me for the past twenty years." Replied the drunk: "Can I help it if you can't get promoted?" Sign in to see full entry.
plumber
A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $600. The doctor exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! I don't even make that much as a doctor!." The plumber quietly answered,... Sign in to see full entry.
Thursday, August 28, 2014
3 wishes
There were 3 friends stranded in an island. Exploring the island, the 3 men found a bottle so they opened it. A genie came out, and she said that she would grant them 3 wishes. The first man said, "I wish I was with my family" then poof he was with his family. The second guy said "I wish I was in a... Sign in to see full entry.
pickpocket
A pick pocket was pronounced guilty and sentenced to 8 months jail term with an option of $200 fine by the judge. His defense lawyer knowing that his client could not pay the fine, pleaded with the judge asking; “Your honor, my client can only afford $50, but if you allow him a few minutes in the... Sign in to see full entry.