Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

who says flight attendants don't have a sense of humor?

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture", and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: 1. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said,... Sign in to see full entry.

want some nuts?

A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a highway, when a little old lady taps him on his shoulder. She offers him a handful of almonds, which he gratefully munches up. After approx.15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of almonds. She... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, June 9, 2014

attn!

A voice on the office loudspeaker announced: "We will be testing the speaker system to make sure it will work properly in case of emergency." All our confidence in this safety precaution faded when the voice added: "If you are unable to hear this announcement, please contact us." Must be a blonde! Sign in to see full entry.

at the pulpit

A preacher was standing at the pulpit giving his Sunday sermon when a note was passed to him. The only word written on the sheet was IDIOT. Looking up at the congregation, the preacher smiled and said: I have heard of men who write letters and forget to sign their names but this is the first time I... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, June 8, 2014

job applicant

The man applied for a job with a chain food store. “What is your experience with groceries?” asked the interviewer. “Well,” said the applicant. “I’m eating them all the time.” Sign in to see full entry.

dr dr

A doctor broke the bad news to a man, that his wife would have to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital. “I’m afraid her mind’s completely gone,” he said. “Makes sense,” mumbled the man. “She’s been giving me a piece of it every day for the last 15 years.” That's when the lights went out... Sign in to see full entry.

truck drivers

Two truck drivers applied for a job. One said, “I’m Joe and this is my partner, John; when I drive at night, he sleeps.” The foreman said, “all right, I’ll give you and oral test. It’s two o’clock in the morning. You’re on a little bridge and your truck is loaded with nitroglycerin. All of a sudden... Sign in to see full entry.

lawyers

There is one Very Serious Law Firm. All staff comes to work at 6am and leaves around 11pm. Suddenly, one guy started his day at 9am. All the guys exchanged “looks”. And he left at 6pm. All the guys exchanged “looks”. Next day is the same story. And the day after is the same story. Finally, they come... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, June 7, 2014

job titles

In an age when everyone seems to be playing the name game of glorifying job titles, the man in charge of the meat department at a grocery store in Wisconsin deserves a round of applause. On his weekly time card he describes his position as Meat Head.” Sign in to see full entry.

Tardy student

TEACHER: Why are you late, Frank? FRANK: Because of the sign. TEACHER: What sign? FRANK: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow. Sign in to see full entry.