Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Thursday, September 25, 2014

superbowl

John received a free ticket to the Super Bowl. Unfortunately. John's seat was in the last row in the corner of the stadium. He was closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the stadium. He noticed an empty seat 10 rows up from the 50-yard line. He decides to make his way to the empty seat. As he sits down... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

teaching

A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school. Walking... Sign in to see full entry.

oh judge!

A policeman brought four boys before a judge. "They were causing an awful lot of commotion at the zoo, your Honor," he said. "Boys," said the judge sternly, "I never like to hear reports of juvenile delinquency. Now I want each of you to tell me your name and what you were doing wrong." "My name is... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

groaner

Teacher: Why do we sometimes call the Middle Ages the Dark Ages? Peter: Because they had so many knights. Sign in to see full entry.

fighting

On the way to lunch, a teacher spotted two boys playfully fighting. She asked one of the boys to go to the back of the line and he came back right after.” Why aren't you at the end of the line?" asked the teacher. The boy replied," I couldn't, someone was already there." Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, September 22, 2014

ask a dumb question

A guy called a budget airline to book a flight. The operator asked: “How many people are traveling? “How should I know?” said the man. “It’s your plane!” Sign in to see full entry.

ladies and gentlemen

Upon boarding a recent flight from Newark to Atlanta and animated flight attendant began to the preparatory speech and safety instruction to the packed flight. Over the intercom he announces: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the main cabin door has been closed in preparation for departure. The captain now... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, September 21, 2014

job interview

The economy is not going well and an unemployed engineer desperately needing work is nervous about an upcoming accountant job interview. The interview goes well, but as the engineer stands up to leave the manager says, "Oh just one more question. How much is four times eight?" Puzzled, the engineer... Sign in to see full entry.

1990's

HOW YOU KNOW YOU'VE HAD TOO MUCH OF THE 1990's 1.) You tried to enter your password on the microwave. 2.) You now think of three espressos as "getting wasted." 3.) You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years. 4.) You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3. 5.)... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, September 20, 2014

oh Harry!

Harry had a bit of a drinking problem. Every night, after dinner, he took off for the local watering hole, spent the entire evening there and arrived home, well inebriated, around midnight each night. He always had trouble getting his key into the keyhole and getting the door opened. His wife,... Sign in to see full entry.