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flying

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture", and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: 1. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said,... Sign in to see full entry.

flying

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture", and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: 1. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said,... Sign in to see full entry.

are you complete or finished?

People say that there is no difference between ‘finished’ and ‘complete’. I say there is..... Marry the right person, and you’re ‘complete’ Marry the wrong person, and you’re ‘finished’ Sign in to see full entry.

are you complete or finished?

People say that there is no difference between ‘finished’ and ‘complete’. I say there is..... Marry the right person, and you’re ‘complete’ Marry the wrong person, and you’re ‘finished’ Sign in to see full entry.

groaner alert

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties... Sign in to see full entry.

monkey business

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it the monkey is running wild. The monkey jumps up on the pool table and grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender is livid and says to the guy, "Did you see what your monkey... Sign in to see full entry.

lil johnny's sister

Teacher: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? Cindy: You told me to do it without using tables! Sign in to see full entry.

direct object

In a grammar lesson in eighth grade Mrs. O’Neill said, “Paul, give me a sentence with a direct object.” Paul replied. “Everyone thinks you are the best teacher in the school.” “Thank you, Paul,” responded Mrs. O’Neill, “but what is the object?” “To get the best mark possible,” said Paul Sign in to see full entry.

drunk

The drunken defendant appears yet again before the tired judge, who says, "You have been constantly appearing before me for the past twenty years." Replied the drunk: "Can I help it if you can't get promoted?" Sign in to see full entry.

plumber

A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $600. The doctor exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! I don't even make that much as a doctor!." The plumber quietly answered,... Sign in to see full entry.

Oh no you didn't!

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

flying

flying

are you complete or finished?

are you complete or finished?

Monday, September 1, 2014

groaner alert

monkey business

Sunday, August 31, 2014

lil johnny's sister

direct object

Saturday, August 30, 2014

drunk

plumber

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