Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Thursday, October 9, 2014

lawyer at the gates

A famous lawyer, who had been a public defender for years, dies. He finds himself standing at the back of an enormous queue outside the gates of Heaven. The queue before him is enormous. The number of people who die in a single day appalls him. He can barely see St Peter sitting up on a podium... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 5:37 PM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

oh lil johnny!

A schoolteacher was trying to teach her six-year old class students how to say the pledge of allegiance to the flag. The schoolteacher said, O.K. children begin by putting your hand over your little heart and repeat with me, I pledge allegiance to the HOLD IT! HOLD IT! Johnny, why is your hand over... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 7:38 PM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

lil johnny on the loose again

Little Johnny “why is your homework in your Dads writing?” the teacher asks. “I used his pen,” he replied. Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 7:37 PM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

what bosses really think

The following quotes are reported to have been taken from actual Federal (U.S.) employee performance evaluations: - "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them." - "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot." - "He would argue with a signpost." - "A... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 8:30 PM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

signs

In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait." In a nonsmoking area, "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action." On a maternity room door, "Push, Push, Push." On a front door, "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog." At... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 8:28 PM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

quotes

In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait." In a nonsmoking area, "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action." On a maternity room door, "Push, Push, Push." On a front door, "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog." At... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 8:28 PM | add or view comments (0) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, October 6, 2014

grant

A famous scientist developed a formula to bring statues to life. He went to a local park to try it out on a statue of Gen. Ulysses Grant. After application, Gen Grant began to move and soon was completely alive. The scientist asked, "What's the first thing you'll do, General?" The general answered... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 11:09 PM | add or view comments (5) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

good news ... bad news

The drill sergeant making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers in a training camp, stated: "Today, gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. First, the good news Private Peters will be setting the pace on our morning run.” With this the platoon was overjoyed, as Private Peters... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 11:08 PM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Sunday, October 5, 2014

dog shopping

The Smartest Dog Ever As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb chops, please." Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth, and quickly closes the shop. He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 6:15 AM | add or view comments (6) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

wanted

SINGLE FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 5:59 AM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

About this Blog

humorous tales from my life and jokes that I think will make you laugh

Recent Entries
People
Links

Headlines (What is this?)