Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Prison sentence

An elderly woman was arrested for stealing a can of peaches. She appeared in court in front of the judge. He asked "Why did you steal the can of peaches?" "I was hungry." The judge thinks about it and asks "How many peaches are in a can?" "Six." "Okay, then your sentence will be 6 days in jail." Her... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, August 2, 2014

study

A mother mouse and a baby mouse were walking along, when all of a sudden, a cat attacked them. The mother mouse goes, "BARK!" and the cat runs away. "See?" says the mother mouse to her baby. "Now do you see why it's important to learn a foreign language?" Sign in to see full entry.

i've been robbed!

An elderly woman called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car had been broken in to. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, July 31, 2014

loll

Employer: We can pay you 75 dollars a week now and 100 dollars a week in eight months. Applicant: Thank you. I’ll drop back in eight months. Sign in to see full entry.

careful what you write

Job Application: Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same qualifications. In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were asked to take a test by the department manager. Upon completion of the test, both men had each missed... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

groaner alert

Three vampires walk into a bar. The bartender looks at him suspiciously, but decides to serve them anyway. "What’ll be, boys?" The first vampire says "Blood. Give me blood." The second vampire says "I too wish for blood!" The third vampire says "Give me plasma." The Bartender smiles and says "Got... Sign in to see full entry.

must be a blonde

New customer to Tech Support: “It says, hit any key and when I do that nothing happens'. Tech Support: Can you try again and tell me what happens? Customer: 'Tried but nothing” Tech Support: “What key did you hit? After a moment and some chick ling sound the customer replied: Well, first I tried my... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, July 28, 2014

let me know

When things go wrong, When sadness fill your heart, When tears flow in your eyes, Just let me know, Cause I want to be there for you, I am selling tissues,buy one get one free Sign in to see full entry.

airline

A man went to the airline counter. The ticket agent asked, "Sir, do you have reservations?" He replied, "Reservations? Of course I have reservations, but I'm flying anyway." Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, July 27, 2014

he's what!

A lady sitting in first class saw the cockpit door open, she was incredulous to see that the pilot was reading, very concerned she asked a flight attendant, “Miss, why is the pilot reading? Isn’t he supposed to be flying? “The woman fainted when the flight attendant said, "oh well, he’s just... Sign in to see full entry.