Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

groaner alert

Years ago, the Seattle Symphony was doing Beethoven's Ninth under the baton of Milton Katims. At this point, you must understand two things: 1. There's a long segment in this symphony where the bass violins don't have a thing to do. Nothing. Not a single note for page after page; 2. There used to be... Sign in to see full entry.

musicians

A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn't improve. Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, "When a musician just can't handle his instrument and doesn't improve when given help, they take... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, October 20, 2014

programmers

Q. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A. None. That's a hardware issue. Sign in to see full entry.

birthing

An old county doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out that there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5 year old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see while he... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

taxes

Everybody should pay their taxes with a smile, said Bob. “I tried it but they wanted cash.” Sign in to see full entry.

get ready for halloween

Q. What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween? A. Ghoul-aid!!! Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, October 17, 2014

bar time

Phil had just joined a club after his friend had recommended it (being a member for quite some time). They were sitting at the bar having their beers when someone yelled "21" and there was a small uproar of laughter. A few minutes later someone else yelled "34" and another roar of laughter rose up.... Sign in to see full entry.

halloween humor

Three vampires walk into a bar. The bartender looks at him suspiciously, but decides to serve them anyway. "What’ll be, boys?" The first vampire says "Blood. Give me blood." The second vampire says "I too wish for blood!" The third vampire says "Give me plasma." The Bartender smiles and says "Got... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

ouch!

Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Sign in to see full entry.

2 stooges

Two roofers, Larry and Joe were on the roof laying tile, when a sudden win gust came and knocked down their ladder. “I have an idea” said Larry. “We’ll throw you down, and then you can pick up the ladder.” What, do you thing, I’m stupid? “I have an idea” said Joe. “I’ll shine my flashlight, and you... Sign in to see full entry.