Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Thursday, August 21, 2014

barkeep

A guy walks into a bar, sits at the counter and said "Drinks, everybody on me, even you bar tender" on my tab. Every one got a drink and thanked the man. After a while he man said "Drinks, everybody on me, even you bar tender. Put it on my tab." Everybody got their drinks and thanked the man. The... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

baseball

A little boy knocks at the door and tells the owner that something of his had found its way into her garage, and he wanted it back. The homeowner opened the garage and noticed two additions; a baseball and broken window sporting a baseball-sized hole. “How do you suppose this ball got in here?” she... Sign in to see full entry.

cutesy names

Tom was invited to his friend’s house for dinner. He found that his buddy called his wife every cute name in the book: honey, darling, sweetheart, pumpkin, and baby. When she was in the kitchen, he leaned over to his friend and said, “I think it’s nice you still call your wife all those pet names.”... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, August 18, 2014

oh professor!

"Just to establish some parameters," said the professor, "Mr. Nichols, what is the opposite of joy?" "Sadness," said the student. "And the opposite of depression, Ms. Biggs?" "Elation." "And you, sir, how about the opposite of woe?" "I believe that would be giddy up..." Sign in to see full entry.

does your dog bite?

A man was checking into a hotel when he saw a golden retriever sitting on a rug near the hotel elevator. Talking to the man behind the desk, he asked, "Does your dog bite?" The attendant said, "No, he doesn't." But as the man let his hand down to pat the dog, it bit his hand and held on so tightly... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

barkeep!

A man goes into a pub, takes a seat at the bar, and orders five shots. The bartender gives him an odd look since he’s all by himself, but he serves up the five shots and lines them up on the bar. The man downs them all quickly. He finishes the last one and calls out, "Four shots, please!" The... Sign in to see full entry.

you know life sucks when...

Poor old Bob sent his photograph off to a Lonely Hearts Club. They sent it back saying they weren’t that lonely Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

nudies

During a dinner party, the hosts’ two little children entered the dinning room totally nude and walked slowly around the table. The parents were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was happening and kept he conversation going. The guests cooperated and also continued as if nothing... Sign in to see full entry.

let's catch up!

Pete and Larry had not seen each other in many years. Now they had a long talk trying to fill in the gap of those years by telling about their lives. Finally Pete invited Larry to visit him in his new apartment. "I got a wife and three kids and I'd love to have you visit us." "Great. Where do you... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

observations from a plane

In 1940 two men were flying from New York to Los Angeles on what was then a new DC-3. The left New York and when they landed in Philadelphia, a red truck drove up to put fuel into the wing. A little while later, they landed in Pittsburgh and, again, a red truck pulled up to fill the tanks with fuel.... Sign in to see full entry.