Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Sunday, November 16, 2014

singing

The choir had just come out of rehearsal. “Am I to assume that you do a lot of singing at home?” Mr. Harris asked a fellow choir member, David Grey. “Yes, I sing a lot. I use my voice just to kill time,” said David. Mr. Harris nodded, “You certainly have a fine weapon.” Sign in to see full entry.

playing piano

The doorbell rang, and the lady of the house discovered a workman, complete with tool chest, on the front door. “Lady,” he announced, “I’m the piano tuner.” The lady exclaimed, “Why, I didn’t send for a piano tuner.” The man replied, “I know, but our neighbors did.” Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, November 15, 2014

usa

Only in America... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. Only in America... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. Only in America... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy... Sign in to see full entry.

3 dead men

Three buddies die in a car crash, and they find themselves at the pearly gates. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was the greates... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, November 14, 2014

not a way to win a heart

When things go wrong, When sadness fill your heart, When tears flow in your eyes, Just let me know, Cause I want to be there for you, I am selling tissues,buy one get one free Sign in to see full entry.

ask a dumb question

The best answer to the question asked in an interview, "Where do you see yourself in 5 years' time?"... "In the mirror as always.. " Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

I won!

A man gets home, runs into his house, slams the door and shouts, "Honey, I just won the lottery! Pack your bags!" The wife says, "Great! What should I pack for? The ocean or the mountains?" He says, "I don't care! Just be out by the end of the week!" Sign in to see full entry.

marriage

A man sat down and was seriously staring at the marriage certificate, after a long time his wife asked, “What are you looking for? He replied, “The expiration date.” Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

shopping

A couple was at the mall and his wife decided to buy something for their daughter-in-law at an exclusive lingerie shop. Inside, the husband was feeling very out of place when a beautiful clerk asked if she could help him. In a cocky manner, he asked, “Where are all the men’s clothes?” In a demure... Sign in to see full entry.

@!#@#

The man charged into the jewelry shop, slammed his fists angrily on the showcase, removed a wristwatch from his pocket and shook it under the nose of the owner. “You said this watch would last me a lifetime,” he yelled. “Yeah,” admitted the owner. “But you looked pretty sick the day you bought it." Sign in to see full entry.