groaner alert
Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side? He's alright now! Sign in to see full entry.
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
perspective
A husband asks: Why do you weep and snuffle over a TV program and the imaginary sadness of people you have never met? Wife: For the same reason you scream and yell when a man you don’t know makes a touchdown. Sign in to see full entry.
Monday, April 27, 2015
overheard
At a party the hostess served a guest a cup of punch and told him it was spiked. Next, she served some to a minister. “I would rather commit adultery than allow liquor to pass my lips!” he shouted. Hearing this, the first man poured his punch back and said, “I didn’t know we had a choice!” Sign in to see full entry.
IN THE PARK
Three men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines, and reeled in their catch. A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the middle if he new the other two.... Sign in to see full entry.
Sunday, April 26, 2015
for naut
A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer," he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge." Sign in to see full entry.
groaner
Q: Why did the T-rex go to the doctor? A: Because he had a Dino-sore! Sign in to see full entry.
Saturday, April 25, 2015
2 ladies
Two elderly ladies meet at the market after not seeing each other for some time. One asked how the other's husband was doing. "Oh! Rodger died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped dead right there in the vegetable patch." "Oh dear, I'm... Sign in to see full entry.
school is in
In a Classroom the teacher asks; Maria, go to the map and find North America MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America? CLASS: Maria. Sign in to see full entry.
Thursday, April 23, 2015
clocks
man is in a pawnshop and sees this beautiful Grandfather Clock and winds up buying it. He asks the owner if he can deliver the clock and the owner replies that he cannot make deliveries. So only living a few blocks away the man decides to strap the clock on his back and carry it the few blocks.... Sign in to see full entry.
oopsie!
I rish Saw mill Accident.... Paddy and Mick are two Irishmen working at the local saw mill. One day, Mick slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw. Paddy quickly puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Mick to the local hospital. Next day, Paddy goes to the hospital... Sign in to see full entry.