Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

out of the mouths of babes

For weeks a five-year-old child kept telling his kindergarten teacher about the baby sister or brother that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed the child to feel the movements of the unborn baby. The five-year-old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Moreover, he stopped... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, April 13, 2015

helpful friend

A friend said to a friend "Money makes enemies, money makes worry. So being your friend I can't see you worry. So please send all your money to MY ACCOUNT Sign in to see full entry.

3 sis

Three sisters, ages 92, 94, and 96, live together. One night the 96-year-0ld draws a bath. She puts one foot in and pauses. "Was I getting in the tub or out?" she yells. The 94-year-old hollers back, "I don't know, I'll come up to see." She starts up the stairs and stops. She shouts, "Was I going up... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, April 12, 2015

thief

Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into a path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs "give me your money," he demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied, "you can't do this – I am a United States congressman!" "In that case," replied the mugger, "give me MY money." Sign in to see full entry.

arguing

Husband and wife were in the midst of a violent quarrel, and hubby was losing his temper. "Be careful," he said to his wife. "You will bring out the animal in me." "So what?" his wife shot back. "Who is afraid of a mouse? Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, April 11, 2015

goldfish

A man had two goldfish, he named one of them "One" and the other "Two" he did this because.. if one died, he'd still have two Sign in to see full entry.

hubby missing

A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description. She said, "He's 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children." The... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, April 9, 2015

the neighbor's pet

A man looks out the window into his back yard and sees his dog shaking and tossing something into the air. He rushed out to find that it was the neighbors' rabbit, Mr. Bun Bun, and he was very dead. Mr. Bun Bun was also filthy with dog drool and mud, but thankfully there was no blood: his back must... Sign in to see full entry.

josephine

There was a hysterical call at the fire department, and it went like this: Help me, please help me; there is a cat meowing and yowling with frequency and urgency. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me; can you please help me, and send the fire squad right away? Take it easy, cats don’t hurt... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

at the girlfriends house

A guy goes to a girl's house for the first time, and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to make them a few drinks, and as he's standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantel. He picks it up, and as he's looking at it, she walks back in. He... Sign in to see full entry.