lil johnny on the loose again
Teacher: Now, you must not say, “I ain’t goin’.” You should say, “I am not going, he is not going; we are not going; they are not going.” Lil Johnny: Wow! Ain’t nobody goin’ then?" Sign in to see full entry.
Saturday, May 9, 2015
Friday, May 8, 2015
tightwad
A tightwad was looking for a gift to give a friend. Everything was too expensive except for a glass vase that had been broken and he could purchase it for almost nothing. He asked the store to send it hoping his friend would think it had been broken in transit. In due time he received a note:... Sign in to see full entry.
guess
A guy walking down a street one afternoon passes an old man sitting on the side of the road with a large sack. The younger guy says to the old man, "Watcha got in the sack?" The old man responds, "I got some monkeys in that there sack." The younger man asks, "If I guess how many monkeys you got in... Sign in to see full entry.
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
lil johnny on the loose again
Teacher: " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?" Lil Johnny responded "Because George still had the axe in is hand." Sign in to see full entry.
proposal
Frank was madly in love with Susan, but couldn’t get up enough courage to pop the question face to face. Finally he decided to ask her on the telephone. “Darling! He blurted out, “Will you marry me?” “Of course, I will, you silly boy,” she replied, “Who’s speaking?” Sign in to see full entry.
groaner
A French man nearly got away with stealing a number of paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the robbery and getting in and out and past security, he was captured only three blocks away when his Econoline ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such... Sign in to see full entry.
question
Q. What did the digital clock say to the analog clock? A. Look, No hands! Sign in to see full entry.
Sunday, May 3, 2015
excuse me
Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting. “Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?” he asks. The two Americans just stare at him. “Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?” he tries. The two continue to stare. “Parlare Italiano?” No response. “Hablan... Sign in to see full entry.
pearly gates
There is a knock on the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks out, and a man is standing there. Saint Peter is about to begin his interview when the man disappears. A moment later there’s another knock. Saint Peter gets the door, sees the man, opens his mouth to speak, but the man disappears once again.... Sign in to see full entry.
Friday, May 1, 2015
blonde strikes again
It was very crowded and noise in this Restaurant and this blond girl asks the waiter where the restroom was. And he says: - I can’t hear you! So she gets close to his ear and asks again: - Can you please tell me where the ladies room is? And he replies: - On the other side! So she turns around and... Sign in to see full entry.