Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Monday, June 1, 2015

what if

A man takes his son tiger hunting. They’re creeping through the weeds and the man says, “Son, this hunt marks your passage into manhood. Do you have any questions? And the boy says, “Yes, if the tiger kills you, how do I get home?” Sign in to see full entry.

one upmanship

Grandpa: boy, how many miles do you walk to school? Boy: about a half mile. Grandpa: when I was your age I walked eight miles to school every day. Boy, what are your grades like? Boy: they are mostly B's. Grandpa: when I was your age I got all A's. Boy, have you ever gotten into a fight? Boy: only... Sign in to see full entry.

want to be married

A young man looking to get married asked his friend. "Every woman I bring home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like." "Oh, that's easy," his pal replied. "All you have to do is find someone whos' just like your mother." "I did that already," he said, "and that one my father didn't like." Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, May 31, 2015

court

Before a burglary trial, the judge explained to the defendant, “You can let me try your case, or you can choose to have a jury of your peers.” The man thought for a moment. “What are peers?” he asked. “They’re people just like you – your equals.” “Forget it,” retorted the defendant. “I don’t want to... Sign in to see full entry.

tenants

A man mentioned to his landlord about the tenants in the apartment over his. “Many a night they stamp on the floor and shout till midnight.” When the landlord asked if it bothered him, he replied, “Not really, for I usually stay up and practice my trumpet till about that time most every night... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, May 29, 2015

How many

Q: How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: We don't know. They're still arguing about it. Sign in to see full entry.

lil johnny on the loose again

Teacher: “Why are you always late for school?” Lil Johnny: “Because you always ring the bell before I get here!" Sign in to see full entry.

blonde strikes again

A blonde is standing at a vending machine putting money in the slot and collecting can after can after can of Coke. A bloke behind her is getting more and more impatient. 'For Christ's sake, hurry up!' he says. And she replies, 'Can't you see I'm winning?' Sign in to see full entry.

barkeep!

A grasshopper hops into a bar and the bartender looks at him and says, "HEY! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper looks at the bartender and says, "You have a drink named Harry?" Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, May 28, 2015

drinking beer

One day, snake, turtle and centipede are having a party. After two cases of beer are gone, they want more beer. So they discuss who's going to go get the beer. The turtle says, "I will go, you wait here." Two hours later, the turtle hadn't come back yet, so the centipede says, “I will go.” So they... Sign in to see full entry.