Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Thursday, November 26, 2015

politicians

busload of politicians were driving down a country road, when suddenly the bus ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer's barn. The old farmer got off his tractor and went to investigate. Soon he dug a hole and buried the politicians. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the... Sign in to see full entry.

W

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."...George W. Bush "I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."...George W. Bush to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/93 "We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

W

George W. Bush and his veep running mate, Dick Cheney were talking, when George W. said, "I hate all the dumb George W. jokes people tell about me." Wise Old Cheney, feeling sorry for his old boss kid, said sage-like, "Oh, they are only jokes. There are a lot of stupid people out there. Here, I'll... Sign in to see full entry.

patriotic duty

Thought you might enjoy this message I received from one of my more politically oriented friends...... OUR NATIONAL PRIDE! As we all know, the Taliban considers it a sin for a man to see a naked woman who is not his wife. So, this Saturday at 2:00 PM (ET) all American women are asked to walk out of... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

fashion colors

Always wear brown shoes when Congress is in session. If the First Daughters are wearing short skirts, it really doesn't matter what *you* wear. Never wear an outfit the same shade as the day's Homeland Security alert level. Fuschia doesn't work when your husband is draping himself in the flag. Avoid... Sign in to see full entry.

congress

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said someone may steal from it at night; so they created a night watchman, GS-4 position and hired a person for the job. Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?" So they... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, November 23, 2015

official notice

Official Announcement: The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives... Sign in to see full entry.

dear abby

Dear Abby, I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Fort Worth and one of my sisters, who lives in Pflugerville, is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, November 22, 2015

oil shortage

There are a lot of folks who can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in America. Well, there's a very simple answer. Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just didn't know we were getting low. The reason for that is purely geographical. All our oil is in Alaska, Texas, California,... Sign in to see full entry.

bank line

In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly started massaging the back of the person in front of him. Surprised, the man in front turned and snarled, "Just what the heck do you think you are doing?" "Well", said the guy, "you see, I am a chiropractor and I could see that you... Sign in to see full entry.