Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

no sex

A crusty old marine corps colonel found himself at a gala event downtown, hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the colonel for conversation. She said, "Excuse me, sir, but you seem to be a very... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

tourist visa

A tourist from Bulgaria visited the United States on his first overseas trip. Upon arrival at the Immigration desk, he is visibly puzzled filling his visa application. The Immigration officer looks over his shoulder, and sees the tourist trying to write "Twice a week" into the small space labeled... Sign in to see full entry.

Viewing a painting

A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. "Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British." "Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French." "No clothes, no... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, August 31, 2015

smart cats

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were. The first man was an Engineer, The second man was an Accountant, The third man was a Chemist, and The fourth man was a Government Employee. To show off, the Engineer called his cat, "T-square, do your stuff." T-square pranced over to the desk,... Sign in to see full entry.

2 cows

DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office that put a tax on your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, August 29, 2015

c'mon honey

A boy takes his girlfriend back to her home after being out together, and when they reach the front door he leans with one hand on the wall and says to her, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob?" "What? You're crazy???!!!" "Don't worry, it will be quick, no problem." "No!! Someone may see; a... Sign in to see full entry.

2 evil brothers

There were two evil brothers. They were rich, and used their money to keep their ways from the public eye. They even attended the same church, and looked to be perfect Christians. Then, their pastor retired, and a new one was hired. Not only could he see right through the brothers' deception, but he... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, August 28, 2015

wearing lipstick too early

A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. When applying it in the bathroom they would then press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints. Before it got out of hand he thought of a way to stop it. He gathered all the girls... Sign in to see full entry.

medical school

A middle-aged couple, with two beautiful daughters, An autopsy professor was giving an introductory lecture to a class of students. Standing over a corpse, he addressed the class: "There are two things you need to succeed in medical forensics. First, you must have no fear." Having said that, he... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, August 27, 2015

faulty

Ben and Haley had gotten up in years, and their memories weren't quite what they used to be. They found it beneficial to write things down so as not to forget them. One evening they were sitting in the parlor and Haley said, "Ben, be a dear and go to the kitchen and fix me a dish of ice cream and... Sign in to see full entry.