Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Sunday, December 6, 2015

rabbi tax audit

The Internal Revenue sends their auditor (a nasty little man named Shea) to audit a synagogue. The auditor is doing all the checks, and then turns to the Rabbi and says, "I noticed that you buy a lot of candles." "Yes," answered the Rabbi. "Well, Rabbi, what do you do with the candle drippings?" he... Sign in to see full entry.

W changing a lightbulb

How many members of the Bush administration does it take to change a light bulb? 1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed; 2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed; 3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb; 4. One to arrange the... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, December 5, 2015

W

While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 90-year-old man, the doctor asked his patient how he thought George W. Bush was doing as President. The old man said, "Ya know, Bush is a post turtle." Not knowing what the old man meant, the doctor asked him what a "post turtle" was. He said, "Did you... Sign in to see full entry.

pc holiday

I really wanted to send out some sort of holiday greeting but it is so difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my attorney yesterday, and on his advice I want to say to all of you: Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, December 4, 2015

w's library

Subject: PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY DESTROYED BY FLOOD... GEORGE W. BUSH PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY DESTROYED BY FLOOD Crawford, Texas (AP) A tragic flood this morning destroyed the personal library of President George W. Bush. The flood began in the presidential bathroom where the books were kept. Both books... Sign in to see full entry.

showdown

Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and for all. They sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They would have 5 years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. Osama found the biggest,... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, December 3, 2015

3 wishes

George W. was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below. Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, three kids, who were fishing, pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they... Sign in to see full entry.

no nativity

There will be no Nativity Scene in Washington, DC this year! The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in Washington, DC this Christmas season. This decision is not based on religious reasons - they simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the Nation's... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

kiwis and aussies for our dear kabu

Three Kiwis and three Aussies are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three Aussies each buy tickets and watch as the three Kiwis buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an Aussie. "Watch and you'll see," answers a Kiwi. They all... Sign in to see full entry.

fries

There was once a sheep farmer who had a French farm hand working with him to help castrate his sheep. As the farmer castrated the sheep, the French farm hand took the parts and was about to throw them into the trash. "No!" yelled the farmer, "Don't throw those away! My wife fries them up and we eat... Sign in to see full entry.