Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

congress

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said someone may steal from it at night; so they created a night watchman, GS-4 position and hired a person for the job. Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?" So they... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, November 23, 2015

official notice

Official Announcement: The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives... Sign in to see full entry.

dear abby

Dear Abby, I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Fort Worth and one of my sisters, who lives in Pflugerville, is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, November 22, 2015

oil shortage

There are a lot of folks who can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in America. Well, there's a very simple answer. Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just didn't know we were getting low. The reason for that is purely geographical. All our oil is in Alaska, Texas, California,... Sign in to see full entry.

bank line

In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly started massaging the back of the person in front of him. Surprised, the man in front turned and snarled, "Just what the heck do you think you are doing?" "Well", said the guy, "you see, I am a chiropractor and I could see that you... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, November 21, 2015

W

George Bush goes to a primary [elementary] school to talk about the war. After his talk, he opens the floor to questions. One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is. "Billy, he says." "And what is your question, Billy?" I have 3 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq... Sign in to see full entry.

guess who

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics: *29 have been accused of spousal abuse * 7 have been arrested for fraud * 19 have been accused of writing bad checks * 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses *... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, November 20, 2015

the w strikes again

One day George W. Bush and Dick Cheney walk into a diner. A waitress walks up to them and asks if she can take their order. Bush leans close to her and says, "Honey, can I have a quickie?" The waitress is appalled and yells at the President about women's rights and storms away. Cheney then says to... Sign in to see full entry.

interpreting paintings

If you were ever totally confused by all the heavy symbolism in the reading you had to do at school, you'll love this! A couple attending an art exhibition at the National Gallery were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted three very black and totally naked... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, November 19, 2015

they run our country!

Here are some observations about the politicians who run our country. They are from a Washington, D.C.travel agent with 30 years experience. Should we be worried about some of the people running our country? I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get... Sign in to see full entry.