Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

math

A ten-year-old boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis, but to no avail. Finally, at the insistence of a family friend, they decided to enroll their son in a private Catholic school. After the first day, the boy's parents were surprised when he walked in after... Sign in to see full entry.

Tommy

Tommy is a young boy, just potty trained. When he goes to the bathroom though, Tommy manages to hit everything but the toilet. So his mom has to go in and clean up after him. After two weeks, she has had enough, and takes Tommy to the doctor. After the examination, the doctor said, "His unit is too... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, August 24, 2015

lil johnny

Little Johnny asks his mother her age. She replies, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question." Johnny then asks his mother how much she weighs. Again his mother replies, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question." The boy then asks, "Why did Daddy leave you?" To this, the mother says, "You... Sign in to see full entry.

lil johnny on the loose

A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was. His dad thought for a while and... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, August 23, 2015

fog

There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into the Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10 miles visibility when his instruments went out. So, he began circling around looking for a landmark. After an... Sign in to see full entry.

flying

A photographer from a well know national magazine was assigned to cover the fires at Yellowstone National Park. The magazine wanted to show some of the heroic work of the fire fighters as they battled the blaze. When the photographer arrived, he realized that the smoke was so thick that it would... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, August 22, 2015

PRODUCT SAFETY ALERT

Dear Abby, My husband is not happy with my mood swings. So for Christmas he bought me a mood ring so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big f---ing red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.... Sign in to see full entry.

local pharmacy

George, age 92, and Edith, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. George suggests they go in and address the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?" The pharmacist answers, "Yes." George:... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, August 20, 2015

difficult patient

The general was confined to the military hospital for treatment of a minor malady. For almost a week he made a complete nuisance of himself, irritating both staff and the other patients, demanding attention and expecting his every order to be followed immediately. He was in a six-man ward rather... Sign in to see full entry.

camouflage

During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. "You simpleton!" the officer barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?"... Sign in to see full entry.