Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Monday, December 21, 2015

baby speaks out

A baby was born with the ability to talk. The first thing he said when he was born was, "Are you my mom?" "Why, yes!" his mother said. "I am!" "Well," the baby said, "I wanted to thank you for taking such good care of me before I was born." Then he looks around the room and says, "Are you my... Sign in to see full entry.

fishin

A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out on the water, the boy suddenly became curious about things in general and started asking all sorts of questions. He asked his father, "Why does the boat float? The father replied, "Don't rightly know son." A little later, the boy looked at... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, December 20, 2015

momisms

. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to... Sign in to see full entry.

stray dog

An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep on the couch. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back, resumed his position on... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, December 19, 2015

road rage

A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she cut off a truck driver. He motioned for her to pull over. When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the road and told the blonde, "Stand in the circle and don't... Sign in to see full entry.

911

A blonde dials 911 to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, and even the accelerator!" she cries. The 911 dispatcher says, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way.... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, December 18, 2015

china town

Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, Hans Olaffsen's Laundry. Hans Olaffsen?, he muses. How in the world that name fits in here? So he decides to walk into the shop and sees... Sign in to see full entry.

is this true my dear canadian bloggers?

You know your from Newfoundland when.... - You only know three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup. - You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. - The mosquitoes have landing lights. - You have more miles on your snowblower than your car. - You have 10 favourite recipes for bottled... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, December 17, 2015

butcher shop

T here was this Asian lady married to an English gentleman and they lived in London. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork... Sign in to see full entry.

gotta go

An American tourist in London found himself needing to go to the bathroom something terrible. After a long search he just couldn't find any public bathroom to relieve himself. So he went down one of the side streets to take care of business. Just as he was unzipping, a London police officer showed... Sign in to see full entry.