Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Sunday, September 20, 2015

burglar

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out, and... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, September 19, 2015

why mom?

A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom why have I got these huge three-toed feet?" The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand". "OK" said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom,... Sign in to see full entry.

gator in a bar

A guy walked into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He put the alligator up on the bar. He turned to the astonished patrons and said, 'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the 'gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, September 18, 2015

help me find my parrot

There once was a lady who was very concerned about her missing parrot. Not knowing what to do, she called 911. "You gotta help me find my parrot!" The operator patiently replied, "We can't help you with that, ma'am. This number only deals with emergencies." However, the lady persisted, and then the... Sign in to see full entry.

parrot

A woman wanted a pet so she went to the local pet shop. She looked at the dogs and the cats but finally settled on a parrot that was perched in the back of the store for $50.00. She asked the shopkeeper why the parrot was so cheap, to which he replied, "Well, I have to tell you, the birds last owner... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, September 17, 2015

bridge game

Fay Chester was a busy housewife with a demanding husband, six children and a large house. The only relief she got from her chores was the twice-a-week bridge game she shared with a dozen other women. The only flaw in the bridge club relationship was that Fay loved to tell off-color stories and the... Sign in to see full entry.

blind man

A woman is taking a bath (naked, of course) when suddenly she hears a knock at the door. "Can I come in?" a male voice asks. "Who is it?" the woman asks. "It is the blind man" says the voice on the other side of the door. The woman gets out of the bath and after some consideration, opens the door,... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

one upping

Two women that are dog owners are arguing about which dog is smarter.... First Woman: "My dog is so smart, every morning he waits for the paper boy to come around and then he takes the newspaper and brings it to me. Second Woman: "I know..." First Woman: "How?" Second Woman: "My dog told me." Sign in to see full entry.

goin bear huntin

wo men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast but the bear... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

today's pun

A sheriff walks into a saloon, and shouts for everyone's attention. "Has anyone seen Brown paper Jake?", he asks. "What's he look like?", asks one shoddy looking cowboy. "Well", replies the Sheriff. "He wears a brown paper hat, a brownpaper waistcoat, a brown paper shirt, brown paper boots, brown... Sign in to see full entry.