Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Thursday, April 28, 2016

death row

On a given night, 2 death row inmates are scheduled to be electrocuted on old sparky. While one execution is in progress, the pastor administers to the other condemned man in his cell. "Don't worry my son", says the pastor, "as soon as the high voltage reaches your brain, it numbs all your senses,... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 4:54 AM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

shopping

A lady was picking up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear: "PRICE CHECK ON LANE 13,TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE."... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 3:54 AM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

For Adnohr

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin & the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed & threatened by sharks that inhabited the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm fed up with being a... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 8:51 AM | add or view comments (6) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, April 25, 2016

dog vs cat

Entries in a Dog's Diary: 7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite! 8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite! 9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite! Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite! 2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite! 3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite! 4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite! 6 pm... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 11:27 AM | add or view comments (5) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Sunday, April 24, 2016

kitty

alling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying. On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 5:56 AM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Friday, April 22, 2016

stopped

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop. "Ma'am, I'm not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy." "Oh, I'll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home." "That's fine. Another... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 5:44 AM | add or view comments (5) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

stopped

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop. "Ma'am, I'm not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy." "Oh, I'll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home." "That's fine. Another... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 5:44 AM | add or view comments (0) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, April 21, 2016

viagra

Irish greyhound racing authorities have banned trainers from giving dogs the anti-impotence drug Viagra in case it is used to boost their performance on the track..." and "... Viagra could be used to raise the dogs' blood pressure and therefore heart rate, making them run faster in the early stages... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 4:28 AM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

frog!

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 5:52 AM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

kitty

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. 'Human beings are the only animals that stutter', she says. A little girl raises her hand. 'I had a kitty-cat who stuttered', she volunteered. The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 5:57 AM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

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humorous tales from my life and jokes that I think will make you laugh

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