Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Thursday, December 22, 2016

vet

A woman brought a very limp parrot into a veterinary surgeon. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Polly has passed away." The distressed owner wailed, "Are... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 7:29 AM | add or view comments (7) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

real answers

The following are a sampling of real answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school (read Saturday Traffic School for moving violation offenders.) Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can't see my license... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 9:19 AM | add or view comments (7) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

64,000 question

Its the final round of the $64,000 question and only 3 remaining contestants are left, an Englishman, a Texan and an Arkansan. The question is, finish the following song title and spell the answer. " Old Macdonald had a ____". The Englishman goes 1st and says "estate" "e-s-t-a-t-e". The announcer... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 6:40 AM | add or view comments (6) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, December 19, 2016

dental quickie

A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. "I want a tooth pulled, and I don't want any pain killers because I'm in a big hurry," the woman said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we'll be on our way." The dentist was quite impressed. "You're certainly... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 9:59 AM | add or view comments (5) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Sunday, December 18, 2016

almonds

A pastor went over to an elderly member's house to see how she was doing. Seated on the sofa and very hungry, he spotted on the coffee table a bowl of almonds. A little timid, he asked, "Do you mind if I have one?" The woman was quite reluctant but said, "No, go ahead." An hour later, he was in... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 9:50 AM | add or view comments (5) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Saturday, December 17, 2016

Adnohr!

There was this lady who was visiting a church one Sunday. The sermon seemed to go on forever, and many in the congregation fell asleep. After the service, to be social, she walked up to a very sleepy looking gentleman, extended her hand in greeting, and said, "Hello, I'm Gladys Dunn." And the... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 6:16 PM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Friday, December 16, 2016

For Adnohr

Don't cheat and scroll down before thinking about it. Where do pencils go on vacation? Pennslyvania Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 8:48 AM | add or view comments (10) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

solitary confinement

Three guys are convicted of a very serious crime, and they're all sentenced to twenty years in solitary confinement. They're each allowed one thing to bring into the cell with them. The first guy asks for a big stack of books. The second guy asks for his wife. And the third guy asks for 1,000... Sign in to see full entry.

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Thursday, December 15, 2016

For Adnohr

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. 3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still. 4. A rubber band pistol was... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 8:04 PM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Smuggling

A customs officer at the Mexican border noticed a man coming across one day on a bicycle with two small sacks tied to the handlebars. He naturally got suspicious and asked him to open the sacks, but when he did he found nothing but sand. This went on every day for the nest month. Each time he'd stop... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 4:58 PM | add or view comments (7) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

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humorous tales from my life and jokes that I think will make you laugh

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