Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Monday, March 20, 2017

heart attack survivor

A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked, "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, two months and eight days To live." Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Trump met with the Queen of England. He asked her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?" "Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people." Trump frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Two men are talking. "I made my wife a millionaire." "Oh really! What was she before that?" "A billionaire." Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, March 17, 2017

Sign in to see full entry.

for all the pet lovers

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. - Unknown Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant. - Unknown Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies. - Gene Hill In dog years, I'm dead. - Unknown To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, March 16, 2017

birthin

In the back woods of Kentucky, the redneck's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to be a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing." Soon,... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

dog's name

A man was out walking a dog, and a woman stopped to admire the animal. "What's your dog's name?" she asked. "Herpes," replied the dog's owner. "How....odd," said the woman. "Why Herpes?" "Because he won't heel." Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

what am i?

One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail, and he tripped over a large snake and fell, KerPlop!, right on his twitchy little nose. "Oh, please excuse me!" said the bunny. "I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and can't see." "That's perfectly all right," replied the snake.... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, March 13, 2017

ideal pet

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The shop owner suggests a faithful dog. The man replies, "Come on, a dog?" The owner says, "How about a cat?" The man replies, "No way! A cat certainly can't do everything. I want a pet that can do... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, March 12, 2017

waste not

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. "Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man. "We don't have any money for food." the poor man replied. "Oh, come... Sign in to see full entry.