Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Monday, June 20, 2016

snowplowing

Michael and his wife live in Minnesota. One winter morning while listening to WCCO, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." Michael's wife goes out and moves her... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, June 18, 2016

blonde in the bar

A blonde was hunched over the bar, toothpick in hand, spearing futilely at the olive in her drink. A dozen times the olive eluded her. Finally, another patron, who had been watching intently from the next stool, became exasperated and grabbed the toothpick. "Here, this is how you do it." he said, as... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, June 17, 2016

tgif

A business man got on an elevator.when he entered,there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright,"t-g-i-f" He smiled at her and replied,"s-h-i-t" She looked puzzled,and repeated,"t-g-i-f". More slowly he answered,"s-h-i-t" The blonde was trying to keep it friendly,so,she smiled her... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, June 16, 2016

i've been robbed!

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once a nd reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

suicidal blonde

Back a few years ago, I went over to my neighbors house.(She was a blonde), and for some reason she was mad at the world. She had locked herself in the bathroom and was threatening suicide. I said, "Come on, you know you don't want to do this!" She said, "I damn well do wanna do this, nobody wants... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

painting

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, June 12, 2016

blonde victim

WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline) Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, June 10, 2016

blonde cooking

MONDAY: It's fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls. TUESDAY: Tom wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Tom brought... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, June 9, 2016

interview

The Local sheriff was looking for a new deputy. When a blonde walks in to try for the job, he asks her "Okay, what is 1 and 1?" "Eleven", she replies. The sheriff thinks to himself, "That's not what I wanted, but I guess she's right!" "What two days of the week begin with the letter T?" he asks.... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

organic

My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market. I went and looked around and couldn't find any. So I grabbed an old, tired looking employee and said, "These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?" "The produce guy looked at me and said, "No.... Sign in to see full entry.