Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

new pastor

A new pastor moved into a town, and he went out one day to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came upon this one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times. Finally he took out his card, wrote on the back "Revelation... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, January 30, 2017

Whats the difference?

A little girl who was writing a school paper asked her father, "Dad, what is the difference between anger and exasperation?" "It's mostly a matter of degree." the dad replied. " Let me show you what I mean". With that the dad picked up the phone and dialed a number at random. A man answered the... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, January 29, 2017

hiccups

A man rushes into drugstore and asks the pharmacist for something guaranteed to stop hiccups. The pharmacist slowly poured a glass of water and when it was full he picked it up, suddenly screamed at the top of his lungs, and threw the water into the man's face. "Why did you do that?" the man yelled... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, January 28, 2017

pet lobster

A game warden stops a poacher walking along the beach and tells him he's going to fine him for taking lobsters without a permit. The poacher tells the warden the two lobsters in his hands are his pets and he was just taking them for a walk. "Nonsense," says the game warden. "It's true, it's not... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, January 27, 2017

psych 101

In a class on abnormal psychology, the instructor was about to introduce the subject of manic depression. She posed this question to her students: "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next?"... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, January 26, 2017

remodeling

A lady was complaining to her husband about remodeling her kitchen. "You have been telling me you were going to get me new cabinets for ten years!" said the wife. "They are a luxury and the ones we have are fine." the husband replied. The next day the wife goes to visit her mother for two weeks.... Sign in to see full entry.

jail break

A man escaped jail by digging a hole from his jail cell to the outside world. When finally his work was done, he emerged in the middle of a preschool playground. "I'm free, I'm free!" he shouted. "So what," said a little girl. "I'm four." Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

insulted

On this morning a woman and her baby were taking a bus. As she entered the bus the driver says "Wow that is one ugly baby." The woman deeply hurt just continued on the bus and found a seat next to an elderly man. The man asks "What's wrong you look mad?" She replied "I am. That bus driver just... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

longevity

This printed in a Texas newspaper: The oldest cowboy in Texas died this week at the age of 106. On his birthday he was asked his secret to longevity and he said that for the past 50 years he has sprinkled a little gunpowder on his cereal each morning. He left behind 8 children, 21 grandchildren, 32... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, January 23, 2017

wedding

A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar. So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR... Sign in to see full entry.