Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Thursday, January 5, 2017

we are getting a divorce

An old man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing, forty-five years of misery is enough." "Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer" the old man... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

son in law

A couple took a trip to the Holy Land and the husband decided to invite his mother-in-law. Before they even got there she was already complaining about the long flight and he knew he was in for a long trip. For two weeks they visited every major site from the bible. They walked the path that Jesus... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, January 2, 2017

donate

I just had a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world. I told them to buzz off!!!!! Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving!! Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, December 31, 2016

renew the show

An old television star who's show has been on for years and was recently cancelled runs into a news reporter on the street. "Do you personally answer the hundreds of letters of adoration that have been pouring into the studio everyday demanding that your show be renewed?" asks the reporter.... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, December 30, 2016

parakeet

One day a man strolled in to the paint section of a hardware store and walked up to the assistant. "I'd like a pint of canary colored paint," he says. "Sure" the clerk replies. "Mind if I ask what it's for?" "My parakeet, "the man said. "See, I want to enter him in a canary contest. He sings so... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, December 29, 2016

preaching

The preacher just finished his sermon for the day and proceeded toward the back of the church for his usual greetings and handshaking as the congregation left the church. After shaking a few adult hands he came upon the seven year old son of one of the Deacons of the church. "Good morning,... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

motivation

At a motivational seminar 3 men are asked to come up to the stage. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was the great doctor of my time,... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, December 26, 2016

landing

An airplane pilot had had a particularly difficult flight and a rough landing. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile and give them a ''Thanks for riding Royal Airlines.'' But, in light of his bad landing, the pilot had a... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, December 25, 2016

liar

A man sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. He goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the mutt replies. "So, what's your story?" The mutt looks up and says,... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, December 23, 2016

chocolate chip cookies

An elderly man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of... Sign in to see full entry.