Two men are talking. "I made my wife a millionaire." "Oh really! What was she before that?" "A billionaire." Sign in to see full entry.
Saturday, March 18, 2017
Friday, March 17, 2017
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for all the pet lovers
If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. - Unknown Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant. - Unknown Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies. - Gene Hill In dog years, I'm dead. - Unknown To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant... Sign in to see full entry.
Thursday, March 16, 2017
birthin
In the back woods of Kentucky, the redneck's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to be a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing." Soon,... Sign in to see full entry.
Wednesday, March 15, 2017
dog's name
A man was out walking a dog, and a woman stopped to admire the animal. "What's your dog's name?" she asked. "Herpes," replied the dog's owner. "How....odd," said the woman. "Why Herpes?" "Because he won't heel." Sign in to see full entry.
Tuesday, March 14, 2017
what am i?
One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail, and he tripped over a large snake and fell, KerPlop!, right on his twitchy little nose. "Oh, please excuse me!" said the bunny. "I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and can't see." "That's perfectly all right," replied the snake.... Sign in to see full entry.
Monday, March 13, 2017
ideal pet
A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The shop owner suggests a faithful dog. The man replies, "Come on, a dog?" The owner says, "How about a cat?" The man replies, "No way! A cat certainly can't do everything. I want a pet that can do... Sign in to see full entry.
Sunday, March 12, 2017
waste not
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. "Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man. "We don't have any money for food." the poor man replied. "Oh, come... Sign in to see full entry.
Saturday, March 11, 2017
pc way to say stupid
*A few clowns short of a circus *A few fries short of a Happy Meal *An experiment in Artificial Stupidity *A few beers short of six-pack *A few peas short of a casserole *Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box *The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead *One Fruit Loop shy of full bowl *One... Sign in to see full entry.
curiosity
A man goes into an elevator, looks around and notices that he is alone except for this great, big, huge black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, "7' tall, 350 lbs., 20" penis, testicles - 3 lbs each, Turner Brown." The little man faints... Sign in to see full entry.