Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Friday, March 10, 2017

oh no you didn't!

Colin was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party. Then he had a bright idea. When the host answered the door, he found Colin standing there with no shirt and no shoes or socks on. "What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked the host. "A premature ejaculation," said Colin.... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, March 9, 2017

close shave

A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. "I have just the thing," says the barber, taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum." The man places... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

where is

A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks, "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?" The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing. The man repeats himself: "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?" Again, the... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

prizes

Tom, Dick and Harry were in the pub, a week before Xmas, enjoying a few quiet drinks, when they decided to get in on the Xmas raffle. They bought five $1 tickets each, seeing it was for charity. The following week, when the raffle was drawn, they each won a prize. Tom won the first prize - a whole... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, March 6, 2017

pre-op

A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She's laid on a hospital trolley bed with nothing on, except a sheet over her. The nurse pushes the trolley down the corridor towards the operating theatre, where she leaves the girl on the trolley outside, while she goes in to check... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, March 5, 2017

weighing in

A lady was standing on a street corner waiting for a bus when she happened to notice a weight machine. She fumbled through her purse for a dime and went over to the machine and inserted the coin. Out came a card that said "You weigh 126 pounds. and in 30 seconds you will pass gas". Sure enough,... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, March 4, 2017

black suit

Margaret is very upset as her husband Albert had just passed away. She went to the undertakers to have one last look at her dearly departed husband. The instant she saw him she starts crying. One of the undertakers strides up to provide comfort in this somber moment. Through her tears she explains... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, March 3, 2017

password

Back in the early 80's Chevy Chase was one of the stars on Password. Toward the end of the game a woman was ahead in points so she and Chevy were paired togetherfor the final part. He said the key word and she responded. Like this... he said calf, she said cow. Then it was kid, and she said goat.... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, March 2, 2017

yarn

My grandmother couldn't stand my father's second wife (the one from my high school). She isn't the brightest bulb in the pack and believes if you aren't in the room then you are fair game to make fun of. And yes Kabu she is a blonde! My grandmother showed her a ball of yarn. She asked her to go to... Sign in to see full entry.

f word

These are the only ten times in history the "F" word has been acceptable for use... 10. "What the @#$% was that?" -Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945 9. "Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?" -Custer, 1877 8. "Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that." -Einstein, 1938 7. "It does so @#$%ing look like... Sign in to see full entry.