Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

puns for adnohr

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink. I have a few jokes about unemployed people but it doesn't matter none of them work. I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off. I'm reading a book about... Sign in to see full entry.

As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember: 1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People." 2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary. 3. The difference between the Pope and your boss...the Pope only expects... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, May 14, 2017

The story behind the letter below is that there is this nutball in Newport, Rhode Island named Scott Williams who digs things out of his backyard and sends the stuff he finds to the Smithsonian Institute, labeling them with scientific names, insisting that they are actual archaeological finds. This... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, May 13, 2017

accident

A lady had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My Goodness!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, May 12, 2017

* You dance and it makes the band skip. * You are diagnosed with the flesh eating virus, and the doctor gives you 22 more years to live. * You put mayonnaise on an aspirin. * You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you peanuts. * Your driver's license says, "Picture continued on other side." * You... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

THE ROBBER

A robber was robbing a house. All of a sudden someone said, "Jesus is watching you!" "What? Oh well," said the robber and he went back to work. When he started to pick up the VCR, he heard the voice again, "Jesus is watching you!" it said again. This time the robber pointed his flashlight at the... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, May 8, 2017

groaner

Here's one for sam and adnohr Question: Why don't clams share? Answer: Because they are shellfish! Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, May 7, 2017

high pregnancy rate

A little town in southern Illinois had a sensational birth rate, and scientists decided to visit the place and find out the cause. So the sociologists, anthropologists, birth control specialists and other concerned scientists moved to the town prepared to do a six-month study of the causes of the... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, May 6, 2017

Sex!

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." Woody Allen "Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night." Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004; Thanks for all the laughs) "There are a number of mechanical devices which... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, May 5, 2017

anger management at its finest

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered,... Sign in to see full entry.