Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Monday, May 22, 2017

quarantine

"I hate to have to tell you this", said the Doctor in a sad compassionate voice, "but you have been unfortunately been diagnosed with a highly contagious disease, we will have to quarantine you and you'll only be fed cheese and bologna." "That's terrible!" Said the distraught young man, quickly... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 4:55 AM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Sunday, May 21, 2017

doctor doctor

An old man visited his doctor for help with a problem. "Doc, I don't know what's wrong, but I fart all the time. It's weird because they are silent and odorless, but they keep coming out. In fact, I've farted about 6 times just sitting here. What can I do?" The doctor replied, "Here, take one of... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 12:12 PM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Saturday, May 20, 2017

lil johnny on the loose

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, "Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Little Johnny... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 2:49 PM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Friday, May 19, 2017

lil johnny on the loose

Little Johnny comes home from sunday school with a black eye. His father sees it and says, "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?" "But Dad, it wasn't my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 2:35 PM | add or view comments (5) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, May 18, 2017

lil johnny on the loose

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four,"... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 9:14 PM | add or view comments (6) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

more puns

How did I escape Iraq? Iran. Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She ran away from the ball. A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason... details are sketchy. Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box. eBay is so useless. I tried to look up... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 7:42 PM | add or view comments (6) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

puns for adnohr

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink. I have a few jokes about unemployed people but it doesn't matter none of them work. I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off. I'm reading a book about... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 7:21 PM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember: 1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People." 2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary. 3. The difference between the Pope and your boss...the Pope only expects... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 4:04 AM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Sunday, May 14, 2017

The story behind the letter below is that there is this nutball in Newport, Rhode Island named Scott Williams who digs things out of his backyard and sends the stuff he finds to the Smithsonian Institute, labeling them with scientific names, insisting that they are actual archaeological finds. This... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 8:26 PM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Saturday, May 13, 2017

accident

A lady had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My Goodness!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Annicita at 9:51 PM | add or view comments (6) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

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humorous tales from my life and jokes that I think will make you laugh

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